Page 67 of Great Pretender
“Come, let’s sit in the garden.We have to talk.” She links her arm with mine and steers me toward the rose garden.
I don’t protest because I’m mentally and physically exhausted.
We find a bench where we can sit and talk in private, and she gives me that look I’ve grown accustomed to.It’s her we-need-to-sort-this-problem-out-now face.
“Elodie, before you even start talking, I’m gonna say I don’t really want to talk about Chad.” I blow out a ragged breath.“How about we talk about Victoria because I think this might be her last day, and if it’s not today, it’s soon.”
“I’m very aware of that. Her heart stopped last night, and they had to resuscitate her.Her husband went to visit his sick mother in L. A. and flew back when we called him.I think he might be in denial about how serious things have become.Victoria looks like she’s just waiting to see him and her baby.”
“God, it never gets easy. I feel like there should be a part of me that gets stronger, but it doesn’t.It’s my desire to help people that keeps me going.That the only part of me that gets stronger.”
“I think it’s supposed to be like that.If it weren’t, you’d be less human.It’s that part of you that cares that feels it when you know your patients are on their last.I’m sure the fact that you watched your mother go through the same thing adds to how you feel.It was the same way for me with Bree.It’s hard to lose the person who is your rock.She was that for me.”
Chad is my rock.
I look away from her and bring my hands together to keep them from trembling.
I’ve never come across a situation where I didn’t know what to do.
“Chad was that for me.”
“I know, that’s why I purposely mentioned my rock.Bree was my best friend. I lost her.I knew I was going to, but it didn’t make it easier.You still have your best friend, and I know he’s desperately trying to make things right with you.Tell me what the real problem is, Piper.You know he didn’t cheat on you.”
The problem with being around someone who knows you is allowing them to see straight through you the way she can.
“Not being enough,” I confess, speaking the words that have been sealed in my heart for years.The fear has only come to fruition in recent months.First with Heath, then Chad. “I wasn’t enough for Heath, so he cheated, and I couldn’t have been enough for Chad either if it took a crazy fake engagement to happen for us to get together.”
“Piper, I don’t think Heath can be compared with Chad.Now let’s think about this. Even if you don’t know, I know what women like Tiffany are like.”
“Elodie, she was in our room, naked.What am I supposed to think? I got to the hotel early.What would have happened if I’d walked in five minutes later?”
“Maybe nothing?” she blinks several times and nods.“Maybe he was telling you the truth.I think the fact that you guys have been friends for a long time warrants some leeway you probably wouldn’t give anyone else.My thoughts are he must be telling you the truth if he’s so persistent even when you’ve told him it’s over.”
“He probably just wants to get me back on board so he can get the team.”
“Really, Piper? Look into your heart and seriously tell me if you really believe that.” She holds my gaze.“Tell me. You truly believe the same man I saw look at you like you were his world thinks of you as a means to an end.”
I don’t have to think about what she’s saying because my heart gives me the answer.
“I don’t want to believe it.”
“Then don’t. I think I’ve had enough things happen to me in my life to know that I shouldn’t waste time being afraid or entertain doubts.I’m going to tell you not to do it.We’ve been friends for a while, and I don’t want to see you sacrifice happiness because you're afraid.”
Her words gripped me, reaching the part of me that always wanted to be with Chad.My fears are still there, though.Still there fighting to overpower any light I may have garnered from her words.
“I’m… still scared. What if there are more Tiffanys to worry about?He’s Chad Holdsworth. He’s always going to be a legend, and I’ll just be me.Women are always going to be after him.People are still going to think of him as the Bullet.”
“Do you love him?”
“Yes.”
“Then nothing else matters. I think the question you need to ask yourself is if you want to be with him.Do you?”
I nod slowly. “I want to.”
“Remember when I asked you to have an open mind?”
“I do.”
