Page 83 of Out of Bounds
When we met I knew I was going to die and I didn’t want to love you because I knew the day would come when I had to let you go. So I tried to end us on my own terms when I broke up with you. I even set a date and lied, but then you came right back to me when I needed you the most. Fate made us meet again.
That day I realized it didn’t matter how long or short the time was we had together.
It didn’t matter if there was nothing to look forward to but death.
It didn’t matter that we probably ended up hurting each other because I couldn’t get better for you and you couldn’t do anything more than you did to help me.
It didn’t matter that we were probably never supposed to be.
We happened and what did matter was we fell in love.
So I’m going to tell you it’s better to have loved and lost, than not at all.
See I told you simple but effective. And true.
As I take my last breath that will be my last thought.
When you scatter my ashes and I’m dancing in the wind I want you to promise me you won’t be afraid to love again and follow heart and your dreams.
Most of all, I want you to promise me you’ll never give up on what you want most and you’ll be the man I always knew you could be.
Fight for what you want, even if you have to fight yourself.
All my love,
Amelia.
As I stareat the words, I feel like she could be right in front of me talking to me and telling me what I need to hear.
It’s those last words that have me in an invisible headlock.
Fight for what you want, even if you have to fight yourself.
She couldn’t have known me better than she did.
As her words sink in, strength I never expected to feel flows into my soul as if someone breathed new life into me and suddenly I don’t feel afraid anymore.
I know what I want and if I have to fight myself to get it, then that’s what I’ll do.
There’s no reason why I can’t love Bree and I’d just be repeating the cycle I always did if I end the beautiful relationship we have.
Jim returns to me and sits back down in his seat.
“You’re smiling,” he states. “That’s good. I take it the letter helped.”
“It did.”
“I’m glad.”
We talk and eat and then we set out to the boat. Once we’re on the water we wait until we’re far away from land to scatter the ashes. As I watch them pick up in the wind I imagine Amelia dancing just like she said and I make my promises not only to her but to myself too.
.
Chapter28
Bree
Lucille is extra loud tonight.
