Page 120 of Royal Icing
“Of course,” she said. “You’re okay?” she asked her mom before she got out of the booth.
“We’re great.” Lisa gestured to Arizona, who was wearing a new Christmas tree collar donated by a local pet store owner.
When Emma stood, Sal slid into the booth and started asking Lisa about gardenias. He and Cal had a garden every spring.
Leo closed his hand around Emma’s, and he led her out into the wintry streets. It was late. The booths were vacant, ready to be moved back to storage the following day. And Emma was leaving in a matter of hours.
“You’re quiet,” she said with a nudge. “More quiet than usual, I mean.”
“I’m trying to figure out how to say this. I’m not…good at talking about my feelings.”
They pulled to a stop under a streetlight and faced each other.
“Really? Your mom wasn’t a founding member of the gentle parenting movement?” she said with a smile. “Sorry. Not everything needs a joke. I’m just nervous. Talk to me.”
He took a breath and was silent for a moment. “I know you live thousands of miles away.”
“Right.”
“And your family and work and whole life are in New York,” he said.
She nodded.
“I think you’re amazing. Strong, resilient, ridiculously talented. You deserve to have everything you’ve always dreamed of. I don’t want to destroy the plan you’ve been working toward your entire life. But I think losing you forever would kill me.”
She bit her lip and reached over to take his hand. “I don’t want to lose you either, Leo. I’m having crazy strong feelings for you. You stood up for me even when it cost you everything. I’ve never seen anyone love something the way you love this country. It’s even made me question some things about my own life…” She was quiet for a moment, then snapped back to attention. “But I don’t know how to rectify these two realities. We live in different countries. I have my mom and my plan to worry about, and our apartment and—you’re aprince, Leo.”
“Barely,” he said.
The words were on the tip of his tongue. He loved her. He had known it for a while now. But if he said it too soon, it could scare her away for good.
He reached over and touched a strand of her hair. “These weeks that I’ve spent with you have completely changed my life. I don’t want to date anyone else. I want you in my life forever.”
She averted her gaze. There was another long pause. “What if my dad uses me to hurt you?”
A pang hit his heart. “I don’t care about your dad, Emma. Your family doesn’t define you. I’ll find a way to keep you safe from him.”
But what was he going to do from thousands of miles away? Buy her a doorbell camera when he got his first paycheck from the zoo? If they even hired him.
“So then what?” Emma asked. “We date long distance? That never works out.”
Leo sighed and stared off into the distance. “I don’t know. I’m not sure what’s going to happen when I get a real job. Maybe I’ll find something that requires travel to America,” he said. “I don’t want to let you go, but I’ve also never had fewer resources. I can’t even afford to give you what you deserve.”
Her hand closed over his. “I don’t care what you have to ‘offer.’ This isn’t the eighteen hundreds. It’s not like I have a dowry full of gold pigeons waiting for you either.”
“Gold pigeons? Is that an American thing?”
“No, it’s—never mind.” She huffed, visibly frustrated.
They were at an impasse. Again.
“Long distance is better than nothing,” he said. “Maybe we could meet in the middle.”
“Where, on a random island in the middle of the Atlantic?” she raised an eyebrow. “I just don’t know that long distance is going to be enough for me, Leo,” she said. “I want all of you, not just a couple texts a day and visits twice a year. That’s not a partnership.”
“Try. Please. For me,” he said. His grip on her hand was ironlike. “I can’t watch you get on that train tomorrow and disappear from my life forever.”
She was biting her lip again and seemed to be considering. Instead of answering, she threw herself at him and kissed him hard. There was a desperation in it.
