Page 123 of Royal Icing
Emma bit her lip. “I’m a selfish asshole.”
“What do you mean?”
“Let me be clear. I am so, so happy that Leo was able to raise the money and he’s a huge step closer to building this shelter. I’m so proud of him. He’s worked incredibly hard for this.”
“Right,” Lola said slowly.
Emma lowered her voice. “But a small, very horrible part of me was kind of hoping it wouldn’t work.”
“Ah. Because then he might have given up and left Lynoria and his toxic-ass family for good?”
“Exactly. I let myself imagine all the possibilities—what if he moved to New York? What if we really gave this a shot? We could have had a beautiful, simple life together here. But now there’s no chance of that happening, and I feel like I’m in mourning for this alternate reality that was never meant to be. It’s so selfish for me to even think this way.”
“You are the least selfish person I know.”
“Obviously not. And I knew this would happen if I helped him, but when he showed up here, I could tell how much he needed me. This is so much bigger than the two of us. And I think that’s how it would always be, dating a prince. The needs of a whole country are always going to be more important than our wants.”
Lola tutted. “Okay, I know that’s not true. Didn’t he basically call his mom a Marie Antoinette and knowingly destroy his own chances of getting the shelter built because she slighted you? Pump the brakes, honey. You are not dumping this man just because of something thatmighthappen. You haven’t evengiven it an honest shot. What if the opposite happens? What if this is your husband? Your soulmate? You’re just going to give up because things are hard?”
“I know,” Emma said with a grunt of frustration. “I almost told him I loved him last night. We snuck away from the celebration and had sex in the bathroom, and everything just felt so—so right. He’s so warm and caring. Ugh, this sucks.”
Her friend gasped. “Why didn’t you tell him the truth?”
“I was afraid. It’s too soon.”
“I told Mateo I love him on our second date,” Lola said pointedly.
Emma lowered her voice. “You were nineteen. I’m a grown woman with a borderline-insurmountable amount of responsibility. Saying those words means something needs to change. And I don’t know how to make this work.”
“You have to tell him. He deserves to know.”
This conversation was making Emma even more confused and uncomfortable. “Did I tell you I confronted the queen?” she asked.
Lola gasped again and immediately moved on to the new topic, then had to hang up five minutes later when her dog threw up on the rug.
Emma jumped up and stretched. She needed to get her shit together. Her family was depending on her, and that was more important than her relationship drama right now. Finding some freelance jobs fast needed to be her priority. Replacing what she had impulsively pulled out of her business savings to get to Lynoria was going to take time.
She opened her laptop at the kitchen table. While it booted up, she wiped down the kitchen and paused when she spotted a mug by the sink. The last one Leo had used. She touched the cool ceramic and brushed a thumb over where his lips would have been.
She could clean up later. With Cooper hot on her heels, she stormed back into the hallway to the basket of mail. Bill, bill, junk mail. She froze. Her heart thumped like she was sprinting. The last envelope looked ordinary, but her name and address were written in shaky handwriting. The return address was the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn.
A letter from her father. A reminder that she was never safe.
She ripped it open and scanned the contents.
See you soon, Princess.
-Daddy
Her stomach hardened. Great, another item on the to-do list. The police had mentioned filing for a new restraining order after the assault, but there hadn’t been time before they left for Lynoria. And besides, they didn’t have money for a lawyer or time to peruse whatever programs might be available for victims.
She ignored the sense of dread in her stomach and turned to her laptop to stare at job postings, then switched to a website with home security systems. Completely unaffordable. Same with guns. Plus, she didn’t have time to take a safety course.
They were sitting ducks once he was released. She picked up her phone to call Leo but stopped. This was her own baggage. He was waiting on some of the most important news of his life.
She would figure it out herself. She always did.
CHAPTER FORTY-EIGHT
