Page 33 of Seraph's Tears
I finally reached the top after nearly half an hour of walking and panting. The trail behind me was trampled heather, no true path to be seen.
Well, I’d gone this far. I would enjoy it. I turned and faced the overlook. A broad expanse of brown greeted me, a patchwork of different shades. The tufts of heather still had a purplish hue even in winter, and the rest of the high grass ranged between yellowish brown and greenish brown. Far in the distance I spotted a few scraggly trees. The dips and cracks in the rocks astounded me. Below lay sharp rocks, jutting up like the teeth of an ancient monster.
I’d lived my whole life in the gentle southern climes of Anglia, just outside the city. This was a wilderness I didn’t understand. It looked so peaceful, so…traversable from a distance. Little different than meadows. But now I’d walked a piece of it, I knew better. The long grass hid a multitude of treacherous dips.
Ahead to my left was a taller hill, one far more rocky than the first. I turned and strode toward it, pausing at the base to look up and plan my path. Shrubbery and scrub dotted the hill, marking what I thought was probably solid ground. Further along the hill were strange rock formations, croppings taller than me that weaved back and forth, creating a maze-like path. I climbed.
The top was worth the view. Harsh, stark, beautiful, desolate—it reminded me of Gabriel, of the man I was afraid I was falling in love with.
I can’t fall in love. Not with him. There’s no future. But my heart still yearned. Maybe if I stayed up here all night long I’d come to my senses.
Large, tall clouds drifted across the sky, heralding an upcoming storm. I squinted, trying to gauge how much time I had before they burst. Usually the rain in this region was gentle, and while it was never pleasant to be utterly soaked and walking through mud, it was tolerable.
I should return. I didn’t want to, not yet. I didn’t know how to pretend to be a meek and submissive housekeeper much longer. I needed my freedom, from both the Church of the Love of His Divine Saints and also the frightening passion in my heart.
I’d never been kissed before this, besides Zorababel. I’d thought about it, late at night when my hands slipped downward to comfort a throbbing between my thighs. I’d whispered about it with a friend. Something so forbidden must be wonderful, we reasoned. But then I’d grown disillusioned when I saw how the other women’s little smiles and blushes disappeared after courtship became marriage, then how they grew tired and immediately fat with child.
Gabriel made all those girlish fantasies return. He kissed even better than my adolescent dreams could imagine, and I wanted him more than I wanted air in my lungs.
My palm stung, and I glanced down in surprise to see I’d gripped the key so tightly my knuckles had whitened. I swallowed hard.
“One day,” I recited, “I will find a home and make it a place of joy and love. And when I find it, I’ll put the key in a box.” My friend Silence had encouraged me to say this to myself when hope abandoned me. “And years from now, I’ll open the box, see the key, and remember how hard I fought and how far I’ve come.”
The words drifted across the moor, dissolving into the mist.
Sighing, I turned and plodded downhill.
My foot slipped on a slick patch of grass, and I fell, landing hard on my backside. Sharp grass and pebbles dug into my palms. I cried out in surprise and pain. After a few heartbeats, I pushed myself up. My ankle twinged again, but I could ignore it.
The clouds rolled over me.
I tried to make my way down the hill carefully, but it grew darker and darker, and I could hardly tell which way was safest.
“Damn,” I told the grass whipping around my legs.
Goosebumps formed on my skin, even under my wool sleeves. I shivered and rubbed my arms to keep calm, but the movement shot me off balance again. This time I landed hard on a sharp, pointed stone.
With a cry, I fell, twisting my leg with it. I landed in a heap, pain throbbing through my entire limb.
I hissed, trying to breathe through the stabbing sensation. It took me several tries to get up. I couldn’t put much weight on my hurt foot, and there was only grass to pull against as a counterbalance.
Just as I finally made it upright again, the heavens opened and rain poured. I shivered, immediately drenched.
I have to make it back. If I waited for the rain to stop, I’d probably catch a sickness and die. I’d also delay my return until full dark, which would be dangerous. Fear made my heart flutter.
Miserable, I shuffled forward, grimacing in pain as I went. I couldn’t afford another fall. If I injured myself further, I’d be stuck out here. No one would know where to find me.
Chapter Thirteen
Gabriel
I stalked through the manor house, seeking Eve.
She wasn’t here. She wasn’t anywhere.
Frustration turned to alarm. Had she left? Had she waited until I was away and then vanished?
My heart pounded unevenly in my chest, and I could feel the ayim pulsing through my bloodstream. What had I done? Why didn’t she wish to stay with me? I’d thought we were doing so well together.
