Page 27 of Loving Lauren
“You don’t need all the answers today,” Sierra said gently. “Questioning is valid on its own. You don’t have to rush into a label unless it feels right for you.”
Raven’s shoulders relaxed, the tight line of her mouth easing into something softer. “Thanks. You make it sound a lot less complicated.”
“That’s because it is less complicated.” Sierra nudged her playfully with her elbow before grabbing the pretzels again. “You get to decide what feels true for you, nobody else.”
Raven smiled, this time brighter, and helped Sierra carry the snacks back into the living room.
After the others departed, Lauren and Sierra were still cuddled on the couch; neither of them moved.
“Have you thought any more about staying? You can have my room.” Sierra’s voice was barely above a whisper, heat creeping up her neck as she avoided Lauren’s gaze.
Lauren’s smile was shy but sure. “I would love to stay. Together. Nothing has to happen, but I’d love to cuddle.”
They brushed their teeth side by side like they’d done it a hundred times, their shoulders bumping gently in the mirror. But tonight felt electric. Every accidental touch sent sparks through Sierra’s skin. Salem circled their ankles like a sleepy chaperone, purring softly in the warm bathroom air.
Back in the bedroom, Sierra reached for the hem of her sweatshirt. She pulled it over her head slowly, the fabric catching for a second and revealing the soft skin of her stomach, the curve of her ribs. Lauren stepped into the room and stopped mid-step, their breath catching audibly.
“Oh sorry.” Lauren turned away quickly, then paused, their voice dropping to something barely audible. “Actually, Sierra?”
Sierra lowered the sweatshirt and turned, pulse racing but calm. “Yeah?”
Lauren’s voice was quiet, their eyes searching hers with an intensity that made her breath hitch. “Can I show you something? Can I show you me?”
Sierra’s heart stuttered. The weight of what Lauren was asking settled into her bones. It wasn’t just physical vulnerability, but complete trust. Her mouth went dry, but she nodded, understanding that this moment would change everything between them.
Lauren stepped closer, close enough that Sierra could feel the warmth radiating from their skin. They lifted their shirt first, slow and deliberate, revealing their chest inch by inch.
Sierra’s breath caught in her throat, not from desire, but from the sheer magnitude of trust being placed in her hands. This wasn’t just about physical vulnerability. This was Lauren sayingI trust you with all of me, even the parts I’m still learning to love myself.Her chest tightened with something fierce and protective as her eyes traced the line of their collarbone, the smooth expanse of skin, the way their breathing made their ribs rise and fall. Every curve, every part of Lauren that they’d hidden from the world was now visible to her, and Sierra felt honored in a way that made her want to cry.
Then, with a small, shaky breath, Lauren slipped their pajama pants down.
Sierra didn’t flinch. She’d photographed hundreds of people, seen bodies as art and form and light, but this... this was sacred. She didn’t hesitate but stepped closer, the space between them charged with vulnerability and trust, and placed her hand gently over Lauren’s heart. She could feel it racing beneath her palm.
“You’re beautiful, Lauren. All of you.”
Lauren’s lips parted, a soft gasp escaping. Their eyes shimmered with unshed tears. Sierra’s acceptance made them feel more like themselves than ever.
“I would like breasts, but I can’t afford surgery, and honestly, I’m not sure I want to have it. Surgery terrifies me. When I was little, my mom had a complication with her surgery. I don’t know what exactly, but ever since then, the thought of going under the knife gives me panic attacks. I have concerns with hormones, too.”
Sierra’s heart cracked open. She could hear the longing in their voice, could see the conflict written across their features—want battling with terror. Her own hands trembled as she reached out, because how do you touch someone’s pain gently enough not to bruise it further?Surgery terrifies me,Lauren had said, and Sierra felt that fear like a physical thing sitting betweenthem. She wanted to wrap Lauren in her arms and promise that nothing bad would ever happen to them, but she knew that wasn’t her promise to make.
Sierra’s thumb brushed across their cheek, soft and reverent. “You deserve whatever makes you feel whole, not what the world expects. I’m with you wherever that leads.”
The words came from the deepest part of her, the part that had fallen irrevocably in love with Lauren’s laugh and their kindness and their courage. Sierra realized in that moment that she would stand beside Lauren through whatever journey they chose—surgery or no surgery, hormones or no hormones. She would love them through every evolution of becoming.
Lauren exhaled shakily, something tight in their chest unspooling. “That’s why I told you, because I want you to see all of me.”
Sierra leaned in, pressing a feather-light kiss to their forehead. Then another to their jaw, feeling their pulse jump beneath her lips. Then another on their mouth, slower, deeper, tasting the salt of tears and something sweeter. Her hands rested at their waist, fingers splayed against warm skin, grounding them both.
“Can I touch you?” Sierra whispered against their lips.
Lauren’s answer was barely audible but certain. “Please.”
They moved without urgency, slipping beneath the covers with deliberate care. The cotton sheets were cool against their heated skin. Sierra’s fingers traced the line of Lauren’s shoulder, down their arm, memorizing the texture of their skin. Lauren shivered at the touch, their breathing growing deeper.
“Is this okay?” Sierra’s voice was soft, reverent.
“More than okay,” Lauren breathed, their hand finding the curve of Sierra’s waist.
