Page 60 of Loving Lauren
On the day of the talk, she threw on her jeans and a huge sweater that felt like a hug. No makeup. She wasn’t trying to impress anyone. She didn’t need armor today, just complete honesty.
She began, her voice surprisingly steady as she looked over the small audience. “The thing about creating when you feel broken is that sometimes the actual act of making something becomes the mending itself.”
She clicked through slides showing student artwork... raw, imperfect, beautiful in its vulnerability. Then she shared some of her own pieces from what she privately called “the grief months.” Not the beach photo with Lauren, definitely not that one, but other work from those dark days: messy, bold strokes that were strangely vibrant despite being born from pain.
She glanced down at her hands briefly before meeting their eyes. “I fell hard in love last year. The kind of love that makes absolutely everything louder and brighter and more intense, and then I lost them.”
A few people made soft sounds, as if they were connecting with what she was saying. Sierra took a steady breath.
“For a while I thought I was done making art. Like, permanently. I couldn’t even look at a blank page without feeling hollow, but when I finally picked up my camera again, I realized something. The pictures that meant the most to me weren’t the flawless ones. They were the ones with a crack in the smile, or a shadow I didn’t mean to catch, or a little blur around the edges. The mistakes that made it real.”
She stopped for a second, felt something loosen up in her chest, then actually smiled for real.
“That’s when I figured out you don’t have to throw your broken pieces away. You can still make something out of them. Maybe even something worth keeping. Healing isn’t about pretending the cracks aren’t there. It’s about letting them belong in the frame.”
Nobody said anything, but it wasn’t an awkward silence. It was the kind where everyone’s actually listening. Sierra didn’t notice the woman in the third row discreetly recording on her phone.
Later that week, Jett tagged her in a video with about fifteen exclamation points. It was her talk, filmed by someone in the audience and already reposted dozens of times across different platforms. Someone had slapped a caption on it:When heartbreak meets healing. This will give you chills.
Sierra just stared at her phone forever, pulse jumping like crazy. Finally, she got brave enough to watch herself up there talking about the worst time in her life like she had her life together. Just a few blocks away, Lauren was hitting play on the same video.
Chapter 36
The icy rain hadn’t let up since morning, streaking down every surface in jagged, unforgiving lines. It was the kind of bone-deep chill that made you seriously question every life choice that required actually leaving your apartment. Sierra adjusted the strap of her heavy camera bag as she pushed through the entrance of the converted warehouse where today’s shoot was happening. The building was massive, all soaring ceilings and exposed brick walls that had been transformed into this moody winter set with hanging Edison bulbs casting warm pools of light and rich velvet backdrops in deep jewel tones.
She spotted Jonas across the space and walked over, immediately suspicious of how pleased with himself he looked. “What’s the vibe we’re going for today?” she asked, setting down her equipment.
“Warm but edgy, editorial with a romantic undertone,” he said, then added with studied casualness, “Oh, and I had to call in a last-minute makeup artist. They should be here any second now.”
Sierra narrowed her eyes at him, but before she could press him about why that felt like suspiciously important information, a voice she knew better than her own heartbeat reached her from across the warehouse.
“Hey Jonas, where do you want me to set up my station?”
Her entire chest clenched as if someone had reached inside and squeezed her heart with a fist. Lauren.
They emerged from behind a rolling rack of clothes, setting down their familiar, well-worn makeup kit on a side table near the main lights. Their hair was shorter now, still damp from the rain and tousled in that effortless way that had always made Sierra’s stomach flutter. They wore this thick cable-knit sweater over dark jeans and those combat boots Sierra had always loved. They looked stunning, and completely unaware that she was even there until their eyes suddenly met across the space.
Both of them froze. One heartbeat passed. Then another. Time seemed to stretch like taffy.
Jonas, obviously pretending not to notice the tension so thick you could practically cut it with a knife, clapped his hands together enthusiastically. “Alright everyone! Let’s make some absolute magic today!”
They didn’t speak. Not at first. Sierra forced herself to focus on setting up her camera gear with shaking hands. Lauren unpacked makeup brushes with a mechanical precision that suggested they were also trying very hard not to look in her direction. They moved around each other like wounded animals, hyperaware of each other’s presence but desperate to avoid direct contact.
Throughout the entire shoot, their paths kept crossing in ways that felt both accidental and inevitable. Sierra would adjust lighting equipment right next to Lauren’s makeup station. Lauren would touch up a model’s powder while standing just close enough that Sierra could smell their familiar perfume.Everything was professional, distant, careful. When their eyes accidentally met across the set, Sierra looked away immediately, her chest tightening with old hurt. Lauren’s gaze would linger for a split second before they forced themselves to focus on their brushes.
Sierra found excuses to work at the far end of the set, her stomach churning every time she heard Lauren’s laugh with the models.
When the shoot finally wrapped, the crew started packing up their equipment with the usual efficient bustle. Sierra was coiling cables with unnecessary focus when Lauren approached, their voice barely above a whisper.
“I saw the video from your class.”
Sierra’s breath caught in her throat. “You did?”
Lauren nodded, their expression soft but unreadable. “It was really beautiful and brave.”
A pause settled between them, heavy but not uncomfortable. Just filled with everything they weren’t saying.
“I didn’t know you’d be here today,” Sierra managed.
