Page 103 of Wallflower
“Yeah. Violet.” I clench my fists on my thighs, push against the hopelessness that surges inside me, and focus on doing what I came here to do. Making Violet’s dreams come true. “I have a favor to ask.”
“Okay. What is it?”
“I told Violet I’d take care of her dad while she’s gone. Set him up with a proper job and complete benefits. A place to live. Good doctors.”
“You think he’d be interested in staying on here?”
“I hope so.”
“Me too. He does good work, and he’s an asset to the business. I’ll sort out the paperwork straight away.”
I should be relieved—I am—but the last obstacle between Violet and Europe was swept out of the way too easily, and now I can’t think of a single way to make her stay.
My shoulders fall, and Charlie gives me an empathetic look. “What is it?”
“I have to let her go, don’t I?”
“To Milan?”
I shake my head. “Not only Milan. I have to let hergo. I don’t want to limit a single opportunity that might come her way. Notwhen it comes to her career. Her confidence. The possibility that in the next three years, she’ll catch the future she’s been chasing so long. Fame. Fortune.” I swallow painfully. “Love.”
“Chord—”
I stand abruptly. “I can’t be the selfish jerk I’ve always been. I don’t want Violet to waste time worrying about her dad, and I don’t want her to spend a single second missing what’s in front of her because she’s too busy thinking about what she left behind. I need to get out of the way and give Violet the chance tobesomething—whatever that is. And in three years, if we’re meant to be…”
I drag an impossible breath in through my nose, muscles firing with adrenaline and frustration as my instincts scream to fight for what I want, not turn my back on it and walk away.
Charlie sighs. “If you love something, set it free?”
I scowl at nothing and try to find my cold, confident center. “Thanks for helping with Luke. Let me know if you need any help sorting it all out.”
She moves around the desk with an expression of concern.
“Chord—”
“I’ve got to go, but I’ll check in with you later, okay?”
“Okay.”
“And I really am proud of you, Charlotte. You did good, and maybe later, when all this is… over… you can tell me all about it.”
Charlie forces a cheery smile, but the sympathy in her eyes is too much. “I’d love that.”
I nod and rush from the room before I give away more of myself than I have to spare. I hate feeling vulnerable. I can’t stand the pity. And I don’t want to accept, even for a second, that Violet isn’t supposed to be mine. But what choice do I have? Charlie knows as well as I do that I have to let Violet go. It’s the only way for her to move forward without looking back on her life and always wonderingwhat if.
I push myself to my physical limits running back to the house, my footfalls kicking up dust along the dirt paths crossing the fields of Silver Leaf. If three years in Milan is what Violet wants, I’m going to make damn sure she does it right. And I’m not going to miss a moment of our time together now that all we have left is to say goodbye.
thirty-nine
Violet
DAY 82 AT SILVER LEAF...
Once I decide totake the job in Milan, everything happens unbelievably fast. It takes me hours to find the courage to hit “send” on my acceptance email, then just five days to finalize the paperwork, organize a place to stay, and pack up what’s left of my life in my San Francisco apartment. The week passes by in a blur.
I rarely have a moment to myself—moments to breathe and take it all in. There’s no time to talk myself out of my decision and few quiet moments to dwell on my fears. Chord keeps me so busy I suspect the whirlwind days of packing and planning followed by long nights of soul-shattering sex are intentional. He knows that if I stop moving, I’ll start thinking. And if I start thinking, I’ll talk myself into staying.
I’ll choose him instead of me. And I can’t do that.
