Page 11 of After the Fire
7
THE CLEARING
Because of course thiskept happening to me. Santiago was everywhere. At this point in time, I was convinced I was hallucinating. I went from thinking that a disgusting prank was being played on me, to maybe my brain tricking me, to actually thinking this was my personal hell. He waslarger, and I mean ginormously larger, than life.
For the first time in years, I felt like I didn’t fit in. Like I stood out like a sore thumb in a place that didn’t belong to me because it belonged entirely to Santiago and his giant soul. I left my hotel room with the sole purpose of eating, and then I returned to grieve my pathetic existence and everything I should have by now. I was supposed to be on my honeymoon, but instead I was stuck in time in a town where everywhere I looked, there was a reminder of my previous life, and where there were no happy couples, there was Santiago.
His practiced laughter reverberated through the halls of the hotel. I could hear his voice out my window calling out to the locals taking their daily strolls in the town square. I didn’t know what his deal was. Maybe he was doing it on purpose. Did he know that I was here in this very room, using every single second of my time to grovel with life itself?
Denial, check. Anger, check—or so I thought. And I moved on to bargaining. So desperate and sad that I was willing to do almost anything to minimize the pain. Even staying in this town with that man who only made me angrier at myself. He reminded me of all the things I could have, and he reminded me of the actions I wasn’t taking. I had yet to speak to Susana, hadn’t even thought of calling Manuel and letting him hear my thoughts.
“Hey,” Cata answered the video call. She looked tired, the circles under her eyes a deep purple, like she hadn’t slept in weeks. “You look good.”
“I haven’t left my room except for meals in three days, and I haven’t showered either. Not sure what you mean.” I smiled, trying to pry a smile off of her. “You look tired.”
“I can’t find a comfortable position to sleep at this point, and the heartburn is killing me. I’m going to start my maternity leave early because I can’t function.”
“Do you want something to do in the meantime?” I knew she was going to take the bait. I hadn’t told her about Santiago yet. “Guess who I ran into the other night?”
Her eyes widened, and she grinned. “Oh, I love this already!” She sat up and rested her back on the headboard, shuffling her body under the covers a few times to get comfortable.
“Santiago Will—”
“Oh my god!” she screeched. “Ugh, I’m so jealous.”
“Jealous? Of what?” I laughed at her comment.
“He was so handsome. Does he still look the same?”
“He looks exactly the same and acts exactly the same. It’s so annoying.”
If there was one thing I remembered from our time in law school, it was the competition. It was expected of me to be at the top, so that was what I did. And Santiago was right there with me. He was passionate about criminal justice, and the way he spoke about the justice system was so eloquent and informed. He used to take really long pauses when he was speaking, and it annoyed me to the point where sometimes I sighed or grunted so hard that the people sitting next to me had to elbow me in the ribs so I would keep it down. I could say that it was because he was calculated and intentional but not malicious at all. More like stopping to analyze his thoughts, putting them in order, forming an opinion, and then sharing that. Compared to me, he was the polar opposite.
“You’ve been hanging out with him?” She sounded incredulous. “You hate him.”
“Hate is a strong word, Catalina. I think I prefer to say that I strongly dislike him.” I pursed my lips, trying to suppress a smile. “And he’s been hanging out with me. It’s like he’s everywhere.”
“What is he doing there?” She furrowed her brows and tilted her head. “I heard he took a leave of absence from work after a particularly difficult case last year.”
“How do you even know that?”Huh.Was that the reason why he’d been in this town for a few months, like his girlfriend mentioned? Catalina had always been very well connected. Her job demanded it, but she also made it a point to keep in touch with a lot of the people we graduated with, something I never cared to do.
“Oh, you know, I heard it through the grapevine.” She wiggled her eyebrows and smiled. “Anyway…”
“He’s from here, apparently,” I replied quickly, trying to avoid whatever would be coming out of her mouth next. “And he’s here because it’s his grandmother’s birthday party this weekend.”
“Interesting,” she said. She rested her head on her hand and looked into the screen. “Anyway. Susana is going insane, by the way.” She grinned at me, her eyes shining with something mischievous. “Your brother is furious because Manuel is playing the victim so hard.”
“No one told her where I am, right?” I needed to avoid them as much as I could. I needed a plan, and then I could start taking action to figure out what my next move would be. “I need a little more space.”
“Your brother is the one who answers the phone every time she calls me. She won’t get a peep from me.”
I sighed with relief, but my mind went into overdrive.
“Thank you,” I said. “I’ll let you rest, and I’ll go get coffee. I’ll call you soon.”
I needed to get out of my head, because turning over my thoughts every which way would do me in. The sun was shining, and the sky was a blue I’d never seen before, almost blinding. I could see a lone gray cloud in the distance.
As soon as I stepped outside the hotel in search of some food, I could feel his presence. The hairs on the back of my neck stood to attention. I hadn’t seen him in almost a decade before our encounters here, but my body was trained, and the muscle memory was alive and well.
