Page 44 of After the Fire
I held out the letters again. “You need to leave us alone, Roberto.”
“Or what, Susana?” I blinked and swallowed hard.Or what?“I was always going to come back. Did you think I would just disappear and leave? How little you know me.”
I scoffed. Anger was rising inside me; my heart thumped inside my chest, and the only thing I could hear was my heavy breathing.“Why are you like this?” He tilted his head to the side and arched one of his brows. His expression was still serious, but there was a small hint of confusion. “You ruined my family and my reputation. The least you can do is stay away.”
“I did it exactly for that reason, Susana. For my family, my children.”
“You stole! You stole money, to what? To keep up the charade?” I moved a step closer, my hands shaking. I fisted them and clenched my jaw, trying to compose myself. “You ruined me.”
He stood abruptly. The table shook, and his water glass sloshed with the intensity of the movement.
“Ay, Susana,no seas ilusa.”Don’t be naïve. His voice rose in volume, his face stern and unrelenting. “Did you ever think that what we built together was organic? It was never enough with you. So I had to do more. It clearly did not work as a wakeup call because you’re here—me being away is still not enough for you.”
“Don’t you dare put this on me, Roberto.” I took another step, ready to meet him where he was. I held on to the table for purchase. “This is all on you.”
“What are you going to do about it?” He knew I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. There was nothing I could do. Not now, not in the future. Because it was either my ruin as an influential member of society because I was associated with a criminal, or my ruin as an influential member of society because I was a liar. Neither of those options worked for me. “Estás entre la espada y la pared, Susana.”
“Why are you being so cruel? What did I ever do to you to deserve this?” I was pleading now. All my cards were on the table, my vulnerability showing. “Just agree to back off. Don’t come back.”
“The pot calling the kettle black.” He smiled. “Cruelty is a different thing, dear.”
He was infuriating. He was transformed. This was not the man I thought I knew.
“You are a coward, you know that?”
“Now I’m a coward? Susana, make up your mind.” He took a step forward, the tips of his shined shoes touching my heels. I had to crane my neck to look into his eyes. His breathing was slow and even, but there was some sweat beading around his shirt collar. He was nervous. “It’s not fair to me that you decided to be selfish. The plan all along was to lie low for a while, then return when everything calmed down. Pedro is actively taking care of things, and I’m working here to figure out how to fix this.”
I took a deep breath.“I don’t want you to fix anything, I just want you to stay away from us. Stop contacting your children, stop sending letters. Stop it.” This man would never back off. He was extremely loyal to his family. If his past actions weren’t evidence enough, he had consistently written letters to our son. I never delivered them; the lies ran too deep. “I never asked you to take money that didn’t belong to you. You cheated me and the system.”
He closed his eyes and shook his head. “Susana, are you blind? We couldn’t keep up with the lifestyle you forced on us! This was never meant to happen, but you wanted more, more, more. More traveling, more jewels, more things. Why do you even care about that? You don’t come from money; your parents were middle class at best. You were never used to the luxuries you demanded of me. You are a nobody.”
“How dare you?” I moved closer to him and used both of my hands to push on his chest. I kept pushing him until the backs of his thighs slammed against the table, toppling over the lit candles onto the tablecloth. “How dare you!”
The cheap cloth caught fire quickly. We both stood there, looking at it, unable to move. Neither of us reacted. The flames grew tall in front of us, the dark yellow turning to orange and the temperature in the room rising to impossible levels.
It felt like hours had passed, when in reality it had only been a few seconds. I blinked the angry stupor away.What did you do?
“¡Mirá lo que hiciste!”I yelled in panic.Que desastre. Que desastre.How was I going to get out of this mess?
I slowly backed away, then turned to face the hallway. When I looked back, the flames were engulfing the kitchen and Roberto was moving swiftly in the room. He didn’t turn to look at me, but I could see the panic in his gaze as he picked up a few papers and grabbed the briefcase that was perched by the doorway.
“Susana,” he said without even looking my way. He was still moving around hurriedly.“Salí de acá, rápido.”
Leave, fast.
I ran out the door, closing it behind me. I took a moment to center myself and took a deep breath. He was going to be fine. He was going to grab his things and leave, maybe even call the fire department. He was resourceful, a grown man who was capable of taking care of himself and others.
I looked around, paid attention to the sounds of the scene. No one had been made aware. The street was quiet; there was a gentle breeze that made the branches of the trees dance against the muted sky. The sun was setting, and the horizon was turning a bright orange, the clouds a shade of gray in the dusk of the evening; two completely different scenes inside and out. I heard a door close and that snapped me out of my reverie, making me move my feet, one in front of the other.
My car was parked a few blocks away, so I hurried, looking around and trying to catch a glimpse of what just happened. Apparently, nothing, because there was hardly any movement.
I drove through the night—praying and asking for my efforts to not be in vain—and straight to my house, where I didn’t find any comfort at all.
22
THE CASE
“Hi, baby,”Cata said into the screen.
