Page 138 of Fight or Flight
I don’t understand the tightness in my chest or the strange sensation in my stomach. It’s familiar, but somehow new andforeign. Almost like being in free fall, but also completely different.
“Please.” He presses his cheek against my palm and blinks his eyes open. They’re red and still wet with tears, but it’s easy to see that he’s not in his right mind, and whatever he was dreaming about is still haunting him.
Gently, I pry my arm free from his grip. He doesn’t grab at me again, but watches with dazed eyes as I stand and pull off my t-shirt.
Moving silently, I toe off my shoes, then undo my jeans and push them down over my hips so I can kick them off. When they’re on the floor, I tug off my socks.
When I’m left in only my underwear, Shane pulls the sheets down, his invitation clear.
Putting one knee on the bed, I climb over him and slide under the covers behind him.
He immediately wiggles back until he’s pressed up against me and pulls my arm around him, holding on like he’s afraid I’m going to disappear.
I let him cuddle my arm and pull the sheets back up over us.
This isn’t the first time I’ve been in bed with someone, but it’s the first time that sex hasn’t been involved.
One of my hard rules is that I don’t share beds with people, ever. I don’t even fall asleep when other people are around because I don’t trust anyone other than my brother and cousins enough to allow myself to be vulnerable around them. And since I’m a relatively deep sleeper, especially compared to Jax, I’m damn vulnerable when I sleep.
But my usual flight instincts aren’t kicking in, and instead of counting down the seconds until I can make my escape, I find myself relaxing behind him.
Soft lips press against the back of my hand as Shane gives it a few sleepy kisses and threads one of his legs through mine.
“Stay,” he whispers and presses another kiss against my skin.
“I will.” Not thinking too hard about what I’m doing, I brush a kiss against his shoulder, then another over the side of his neck.
He lets out a happy-sounding sigh and leans back against me.
He feels good in my arms. His warm body and hard muscles are comforting in a way I’ve never felt before, and the steady rise and fall of his back with his breaths is strangely soothing.
I usually feel claustrophobic and antsy when someone is in my personal space like this, but there’s none of that with Shane. I like holding him, and there’s a part of me that really likes how he trusts me to comfort him.
He might be fucked up, but he’s aware enough to know it’s me holding him. He asked me to stay, and for some messed-up reason, that’s a way better feeling than I ever thought it could be.
Shane trusts me. And he’s not just letting me see him when he’s at his most vulnerable; he wants me to stay because I make him feel better.
Is this what Jax was talking about when he said that Myles’s comfort and needs come before his own? Is this what he meant when he said that making Myles happy and knowing he’s taking care of him is just as satisfying as any of the sex they have?
I don’t understand any of what’s going on, but Shane is the only person who’s ever made me feel anything, and after spending the last twenty-one years thinking that wasn’t even possible for me, I’m not letting him go.
He’s mine. He just doesn’t know it yet.
Shane lets out another soft, happy-sounding sigh and hugs my arm even tighter against him.
Pushing those thoughts to the back of my mind, I close my eyes and sink into the warmth surrounding us as I let myself fall asleep.
24
SHANE
The first thingI’m aware of is the dull pounding in my head that starts at the base of my skull and radiates out with every beat of my heart. The next is how dry my mouth and lips are.
With more effort than it should take, I open my eyes. Dim light floods my blurry vision, and it feels like my eyelids are made of sandpaper as I blink a few times to try and clear not just my vision, but also the heavy haze of confusion surrounding me.
Little snippets of memories come flooding back to me as I try to piece together what happened last night.
I remember pregaming in Paxton’s room and going to The Crypt, but not a lot after that, and the bits and pieces that are coming back to me make zero sense.
