Page 145 of Fight or Flight
“I am too.” She pauses for a few beats. “What do you want to do about telling your father?”
“I’m not sure. Would it be awful if I asked you to tell him?” I ask. “I know it’s something he should probably hear from me, but I don’t want to disappoint him.”
“You could never disappoint him.”
I resist the urge to remind her that I’m constantly disappointing him because I’m not my brother and can’t live up to the image of him that Dad has in his head, but I know better. The last thing I need is to send her into a spiral by bringing up KJ, and she’ll just defend Dad and say that he only wants the best for me.
That’s a conversation neither of us needs right now.
“Maybe not, but you can’t say this doesn’t go against his big plan for me,” I say instead.
“You’re not wrong. But your dad loves you, and he just wants the best for you. If that leads to you having a male partner instead of a female one, or even no partner at all, then he’s just going to have to accept it.”
“And you think he’ll accept it if I tell himwhoI’m into?”
As far as I know, there isn’t any bad blood between Jace’s family and mine. Our families have done some business together over the years, but there’s a lot about the inner workings of the company I’m eventually going to be taking over that I’ve been kept in the dark about. And there are a fuck ton of rumors floating around about just how connected to organized crime the Hawthornes are, and how their empire spans through both the economic markets and the black markets.
My dad might not have a problem with Jace as a person, but he could have issues with his family, and in our world, that’s essentially the same thing.
“I think he will,” she says, but I can hear a hint of doubt in her voice. “I’m sure he’ll be surprised, but that’s only because of the history between you two.” She pauses for a few beats. “I have no problem telling him if you think that’s best. Or even not telling him yet. This is your call. You tell me what you want, and that’s what I’ll do.”
“I’ll tell him,” I say. “I just need some time to figure out when.”
“I understand. I won’t say a word to anyone. You tell him whenever you’re ready.”
“Thanks, I appreciate that.”
“Is it okay if I give you some mom advice?”
“Hit me with it.”
“I read something once that said no one is entitled to know your sexuality until you decide to tell them. I obviously can’t speak from experience about what it’s like to worry about coming out or dealing with people’s reactions to the news, but I wholeheartedly agree with it. The only person who can decide if and when you tell people about your personal business is you, and I’ll support whatever you decide.”
“Thanks, Mom,” I say, my voice tight.
I knew she’d be okay with everything, but knowing something and experiencing it are two different things, and a part of me was terrified I’d lose the only family I have left.
“Is everything else okay?” she asks.
“Yup, everything is good. I should actually get going,” I tell her. “I have some stuff I need to do.”
“Have a good night, and I’ll talk to you later.”
“Later. Bye, Mom.”
“Bye, sweetie. I love you.”
“Love you too.”
I end the call and toss my phone onto my bed as I sit up and swing my legs over the side.
My eyes land on the empty tray I need to send back down to the kitchens, and I swallow hard as I remember the food Jace had sent up for me earlier.
I figured it would be bagged lunch or one of the other simple grab-and-go lunch options they keep stocked during the day, but it was a full breakfast, and exactly what I always order when I’m hungover.
Three egg whites, three pieces of toast, three slices of bacon, and three sausages with a glass of water, another of orange juice, and a black coffee. It’s a specific enough order that it’s not a standard menu option, and no one in the kitchens would just randomly make it.
That means Jace knows my hangover order. But does that actually mean anything other than he’s observant and we’ve lived in the same house for over three years? Am I reading too much into things, and the food and drink were just him cosplaying as a human and running his “what would a person do” program?
