Page 4 of Make the Play
“Me and Alec were talking and?—”
“You and Alec talk about me?”
“Of course we do,” Theo answers as if he can’t believe Jason is surprised. “You’re my best friend, and for all the shit you and Alec give each other, you know he adores you.”
Unwilling to examine why that makes him so happy, Jason focuses on the fizzle of carbonation in his beer. He sips it slowly.
“Fine, maybe I was a little bit jealous when we talked at Alec’s birthday.” Jason hates that he has to admit this, but he can’t exactly demand emotional honesty from Theo and then be a dick and refuse to offer it in return. “We’ve always done everything together, and you’re doing something without me.”
Theo’s face falls, which is exactly why Jason didn’t want to say anything.
The last thing Jason wants is for Theo to feel guilty. He’s so happy with Alec, and yeah, maybe Jason is a little, or a lot, jealous sometimes because things are changing in ways that have shifted his relationship with Theo, but that doesn’t mean he wants to acknowledge it. Besides, it's not like Theo is neglecting him. They still spend plenty of time together, albeit often with Alec now too. Which, again, isn’t even a problem. Jason loves his pain-in-the-ass little brother. He’s so happy for both of them, and that is exactly why his weird feelings should remain a non-issue. He really shouldn’t have said anything, but he’s never been able to lie, especially not to Theo.
“Shit, Jason.”
“Don’t look at me like that,” Jason sighs. “It’s not like I’m wallowing or anything. It’s just hard sometimes, you know? I think seeing you happy and ready to get married has me thinking about things.”
“Things like?”
“Man, you go to therapy for a few months and suddenly you’re my therapist? I think I liked it better when I was the one asking you questions.”
Theo knocks Jason’s feet off the chair. “Smart ass.”
“Wow, Alec has been a really bad influence on you.” At Theo’s laugh, Jason finds himself relaxing. This is just Theo, the person who knows him best in the world. If he can't be honest with him, who can he be honest with? “Maybe I’ve been thinking a little bit about how I’m thirty now and how weird it is that my baby brother and my commitment-phobic best friend are both getting married before me. Toeach other, no less.”
“You’re not upset, are you?”
“Fuck no,” Jason says, refusing to let Theo worry about that. Yes, it’s still weird for him sometimes, and yes, maybe he occasionally feels like a third wheel, but he doesn’t resent either of them. “I’m so damn happy for both of you. I promise. It’s just a glaring reminder of how single I am, you know?”
Theo’s expression softens. He leans forward, elbows on his knees as he lowers his voice, likely so they’re not overheard by any of his nosy-ass brothers. “Do you want to start dating again?”
“Who said anything about dating?” Jason balks, horrified by the very prospect. Just because he’s lonely doesn’t mean he wants to date.
Theo holds his hands up in mock surrender. “I’m just saying, you haven’t been on a real date since Nicole. I know things ended badly, but maybe it’s time to get back out there. You know, if that’s what you want. Which, judging by what you said, I feel like maybe you do, even if you don’t want to admit it. You played wingman for me for a long time, so it's only fair I get a chance to return the favor.”
“I appreciate the offer, but I’m not looking for anything right now,” Jason assures him. “Besides, the start of a new school year is always busy. It’s not like I’d have time to try and date even if I wanted to.”
“Maybe you’ll meet someone at school,” Theo says.
“Dude, half the staff is over fifty or married already. Everyone else is either not my type or—wait, why are we still talking about this?”
“Because you want a relationship.”
“How the hell did we go from me maybe going on a date to a relationship?”
“Because I know you,” Theo answers. “You are the most monogamous man I’ve ever met.”
Much as Jason wishes he could deny Theo’s words, he can’t. Unlike his best friend, Jason was never built for the casual one-and-done thing, which is why it’d been so easy to throw himself into work and playing wingman for Theo whenever his past relationships inevitably failed. He’s always found it easier to focus on other people and what they need, but with Theo off the market and his own normally busy schedule in its summer lull, there’s been way too much time to think about himself lately. He does not like it.
Staying busy is the way to go, which is why Jason can’t wait until the new semester starts. Then he can pack his schedule full enough it won’t matter if he sometimes misses Theo or gets lonely. Or both.
“It’s okay to want something for you, you know?”
“Alright, therapy session is over,” Jason grumbles. At Theo’s earnest expression Jason sobers. “Fine, fine. I can want things for myself. Blah, blah, blah. I meant what I said before, though. Besides starting next week, I’ll be too busy to think about dating, but if for some reason I change my mind and decide I want a girlfriend—which I won’t by the way—then you’ll be the first person I tell.”
“Promise?”
“Yes, Daddy, I promise.”
