Page 80 of Make the Play
There’s a bright flash from the photobooth camera as it takes their final picture; a reminder that their time here is limited but also that there will now be photo evidence of Jason’s sexual awakening.
Using every ounce of self control he possesses, Jason pulls out of the kiss. Immediately he regrets it, wanting to mold himself around Emerson once more, to chase the taste of mint on his breath and deepen the kiss. Lowering his forehead to Emerson’s, he presses one more quick kiss to his lips.
“Hey.”
Emerson’s eyes flutter open, and the flush of pleasure that spreads across his face makes Jason wish he could take Emerson home right now. He has no idea what he’d do with him, has no idea how to make another man feel good, but fuck, he wants to try.
“Was that okay?” Jason asks, pulling back enough he can get a good look at Emerson. His cheeks are flushed and the slow rise and fall of his chest is mesmerizing.
“Yes,” Emerson whispers.
“It was my first time kissing a man,” Jason says, and though Emerson already knows this, it’s exciting to say it out loud.
“That was my first kiss ever,” Emerson offers, pulling his bottom lip between his teeth.
“Did you like it?” Jason asks.
“I think I like everything when it’s with you, Jason.”
Uncaring who is outside waiting for a turn, Jason pulls Emerson into a hug. His arms slip around Jason’s back, the sunflower boutonniere slightly crushed between their bodies as they each hold on much tighter than is strictly necessary. Emerson’s hair tickles his nose as he buries his face in it, breathing him in.
He didn’t need a kiss to accept he liked men, but it sure as hell showed him one thing: whatever his feelings are for Emerson, they’re big. Bigger than anything he’s felt before, and he’s going to need to figure out what that means.
15EMERSON
Jason kissed him.
Star football coach. Teacher of the year three years running. Big man on campus. Most popular guy at Santa Leon High. Also, nicest guy everandthe most handsome.ThatJason King kissed him. The same man who keeps Dr. Pepper and Ranch Doritos in his office in case Emerson ever runs out. The guy who knows Emerson’s favorite foods and texts with him when words are too hard after a long day.
Of all the things Emerson has imagined in his life, this might be the greatest. Except Jason isn’t anything like one of his daydreams, he’s not a dream at all. Jason is so very real and also looking at Emerson like he’s something fucking special, and no one has ever looked at him like this.
For as long as he’s known he had a crush on Jason, it’s felt like an objective fact. Something true, but not something Emerson had any plans to try and change. There are lots of things Emerson likes and some he doesn’t, and all of those are simply fixed things. Like the way Emerson likes Eggo waffles or peanut sandwiches or Lord of the Rings. Liking Jason simply was. He was never going to do anything about it because Jason was straight. Or so he thought before tonight.
Now Jason is here looking at Emerson like he maybe wants to kiss him again, holding him so close Emerson can feel every line of Jason’s massive body, and suddenly having feelings for Jason doesn’t feel the same as the way he likes waffles or soft blankets. It’s different—more.
So much of Emerson’s life has been spent studying other people or himself, fascinated and confused in equal measure by the complexities of being a human. Along with that fascination has always come a frustration that he cannot understand his own emotions as easily as he can understand characters in a book. He’s tried speech therapy, occupational therapy, even talk therapy. He’s carried a laminated feelings chart in his wallet, and on more than one occasion, cried because he was so frustrated by not understanding how he felt.
Right now, this feeling bubbling up in his chest, is the most clear and solid thing he’s ever experienced; it’s happiness.
Jason King makes him happy.
“Boys,” Mabel calls, “there’s a line.”
“Yeah, boys,” someone much younger and decidedly male says.
“Sanchez,” Jason laughs, dropping his hand. Before he steps away, he kisses Emerson’s lips once more in a brief but pleasant kiss that makes Emerson’s insides tingle with delight. If he’d realized just how nice kissing was maybe he’d have tried it earlier, though in hindsight that would’ve involved letting other people touch him or get into his personal space and so far, despite many surface level crushes, he’s never ever wanted to cross that line with anyone but Jason.
“What’cha doing in there, Coach?” another voice adds. Emerson knows this one. It’s Matty.
“None of your business,” Jason answers, slipping out of the photo booth first. He takes off his plastic crown, depositing it on Matty’s head. “If you must be so nosy, Mr. Miller and I were helping Mabel test the photo booth.”
“Is that all, Coach?” Matty asks.
It’s only then that Emerson notices the photo booth photo in Matty’s hand. A sinking feeling floods his gut. He can hear Landon all over again.Why would you go to homecoming? Isn’t that for people who have friends? Of course you’re not going to prom, weirdo, who would go with you? Bet you’re gay, aren’t you? Mom and Dad will never let you bring anyone home, that is if anyone ever actually wanted to date you.
He’d been horrible and cruel, and the only saving grace was that he’d been so busy with sports and his own friends, he’d mostly ignored Emerson unless he was very bored or in a bad mood.
Emerson spent a few hours tutoring Matty this week. He knows he’s a good kid and not at all like his cousin, but his own knee jerk reaction to being in front of a large group of high school athletes is hard to ignore. Especially with all of them standing there staring, one of them holding a photograph that he knows could out Jason. Emerson feels like he might be sick. He’s not even sure he’s breathing. His lungs are expanding but it doesn’t feel like air is actually coming in.
