Page 100 of Make the Play
“Well, me too,” Emerson huffs, his chest flushed pink. “But um, I want—can I—Why is this hard to say out loud?”
“Anything, Emmy.”
Emerson squeezes his eyes shut. “Please fuck me.”
Jason nearly nuts in his boxers. “Are you sure?”
“I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life. I’ve touched myself. I have a toy. Trust me, I like it. I want to know if it feels the same with someone real. I want—I want you, Jason. I want you inside of me when I come. Please.”
He says it as if he needs to beg, as if Jason wouldn’t cut open his own heart and give it to Emerson if he asked. It’s absolutely terrifying, not because Jason has never fucked a man before, but because he’s never fucked someone he loves. The realization should maybe feel scarier, or more confusing, but just like when he accepted his bisexuality, it just feels right. There’s no panic, no questioning, just the knowledge that yes, this is who Jason is, who he’s always been.
“Is that okay?” Emerson asks, peeking at Jason through one cracked eye.
Jason surges up to kiss him, pinning Emerson to the bed. “The most okay thing ever.”
“Do you have, um?—”
“Yes,” Jason finishes, flinging an arm out to the bedside table and digging out the lube he bought.
“Have you uh, you know.”
“I’ve never fucked a man,” Jason offers, “or had anal.”
“So it's a first for both of us,” Emerson says.
“You’re my first in so many ways, Emmy.” Jason kisses him again, drunk on the soft sighs Emerson makes. He could kiss Emerson forever, but there’s something very hard poking into his hip, and he wants to give Emerson everything he wants.
“Be gentle please,” Emerson murmurs.
“Always gentle with you,” Jason whispers, peppering kisses across his jaw. He smooths the hair off his face, kissing both closed eyes and the center of his brow.
“Okay.”
“You’re in control, Emmy.” Jason kisses his lips once more, a promise. “I know this is new, and that sometimes that can feel scary for you so just remember you’re in charge, okay? If it hurts or you change your mind, we can stop any time.”
“I’m in charge,” Emerson repeats, somehow making it sound like a question. “Should I prep myself so you don’t have to?”
“No,” Jason answers, scooting down the bed. He had no idea that he’d ever put his history of hearing about Theo’s teenage discovery of the male anatomy or one night stands exploration to practical use, but turns out growing up with a bisexual best friend with a preference for men is going to help Jason lose his gay virginity.
In hindsight, his interest in Theo’s experiences, which he chalked up to them being the best of friends, maybe should’ve been an earlier tip-off about being less than straight. Not that Jason is going to worry about that right now, or ever really. The past is in the past, and his future is right here, trembling beneath him as eager and wanting as Jason.
“If I do something wrong, just tell me.”
“I’m not exactly the paragon of sexual expertise.”
“No, you didn’t have this on your list?” Jason asks, kissing Emerson’s hip. “Which, by the way, we never got to discuss.”
“This was on the list. Top of the list,” Emerson huffs, eyes open now and fixed directly on the ceiling. “You kissing me was there and touching me, sucking me. But the very top of the list—that was you and me having sex. I suppose technically, it’s all sex, but I wanted you on top of me,insideof me. At first I didn’t imagine I was allowed to think about wanting you like this, but now I can, and it’s literally all I can picture. Especially now that I’ve seen you. You’re so big, and I want to be full of you, and I know it’s going to feel so good. I just want you to make me feel good. Is that selfish?”
“If it is, please be selfish,” Jason tells him, kissing his way across the flat of Emerson’s belly from hip to hip before nuzzling his face against Emerson’s erection. A bit of precome dribbles out the tip and Jason licks it, humming to himself at the unexpected saltiness. “I feel like with enough practice, I am going to be excellent at blow jobs.”
Emerson makes a choked sound, throwing his arm over his face. “If I look at you, I’m going to come.”
“That’s very good for my ego,” Jason laughs, as horny as he is happy. He moves down, dragging his tongue from the base of Emerson’s erection to the tip, circling the crown with his tongue and lapping up the come that’s dripping out of the tip. “Mhmm, definitely like dicks.”
“Oh my god,” Emerson groans.
“Not god, only Jason.”
