Page 82 of Break the Rule
“Don’t look so upset, Charlie. Sleeping with a predator beats sleeping on the streets some nights.”
When Charlie was seven, he went on a merry-go-round at the local county fair. His dad tried to warn him that it wouldn’t be smooth and slow like the one he went to at a theme park the previous year, but Charlie wanted to go anyway. The ride had spun so fast Charlie thought he might fall off, spinning and spinning until Charlie almost puked and cried at the same time. This is like that, but there’s nothing fun about this.
“Eden.”
“Now you know. This is what you’ll get. It’s not all glitter and fun. I’m not good enough for you, Charlie. I went in your shower, and there are three kinds of towels. Who the fuck has three kinds of towels? That robe is silk. It cost more than I make in a month. You’re a famous artist with a fucking house and a fucking steady income and three fucking kinds of bath towels, and you’ve got a good family, and I’m not fucking good enough for you.”
Those words cut through Charlie like a knife. He suspects if he shows that though, it’ll be what sends Eden running.
“You think I’m famous?”
“That’s what you fucking pick out of all that?” Eden glares, and Charlie fights off the urge to cry because all it will do is give Eden the wrong idea. He’s not horrified or turned off. He is deeply sad, for a lot of fucking reasons, but he’s not sure his own feelings are what matter right now.
“I mean, I’m pretty, talented, and famous. You should totally use me.”
“What are you—what?”
“Use me, Eden. The way they used you. You can take whatever you want, and I won’t say no. You’re still making the rules here. You’re in charge.”
Eden’s jaw quivers, and Charlie moves without hesitation, crowding into his personal space.
“What the fuck are you doing?” Eden balks, his body taut as a bowstring.
“I needed a hug.”
Eden grumbles but there’s an almost imperceptible loosening of his muscles. This man right here, this beautiful, resilient man is somehow the strongest, most fragile thing Charlie has ever held in his arms.Charlie pulls Eden against his chest so he can’t see the way Charlie’s heart is cracking.
Fuck everyone who hurt Eden.Fuck them.
“I want a cuddle too, Eden. You can be the big spoon.”
“You’re a needy fucker.”
“I am,” Charlie acknowledges. “You’ll have to give me a lot of attention.”
“Bossy, too. What makes you think I’m gonna give you all these cuddles and attention anyway?”
“Because I’m cute,” Charlie whispers, breathing in the scent of his shampoo on Eden’s hair. He’s never considered himself aprimitive man, but Eden in his clothes smelling like his favorite shampoo is doing something to him—something that might be altering his brain chemistry.
“Fuck you.”
Charlie hides his smile in Eden’s hair, pretty sure those two little words are slowly becoming his favorite.
“For what it’s worth, between the two of us, I don’t know if I’m good enough for you.”
“Don’t lie to me.” Eden’s fingers dig into his shirt. “Ever.”
“I’m not lying,” Charlie whispers, unsure how to explain how ill-prepared he feels for whatever the fuck is happening. He’s spent his life running from relationships. He doesn’t know how to be a boyfriend, or whatever else Eden might let him be. But fuck it all if he doesn’t want to try. “You’re perfect just the way you are. For what it’s worth, I like this version of you just as much as the skirts and makeup. I like every version of you, and I’m sorry for what you’ve been through, not because I pity you, but because it was wrong. But I’m glad you’re here, and nothing you say is going to scare me away.”
“Well then, you’re an even bigger idiot than I thought.”
“There are a lot of big things about me,” Charlie jokes, pretty sure he just pushed the limit of how much emotional honesty Eden is going to tolerate from him.
“Charlie.”
“Yeah?”
“Shut up.”
