Page 126 of Break the Rule
“Because you say them.”
Addy laughs, leaning over the couch to kiss Ella’s head. “You can’t copyeverythingEden does.”
“But I like Eden.”
“I like Eden too,” Addy grins.
“I wanna be like Eden when I grow up.”
A rock settles in Eden’s stomach. He doesn’t deserve that, doesn’t deserve her.
Undeterred, Ella presses further. “But how old?”
“When you’re eighteen,” Addy answers.
Ella sighs dramatically, sprawling herself across Eden’s legs. “I’ll be almost dead.”
“I know it’s hard to believe, but me and Eden aren’t almost dead yet,” Addy tells her, moving around the couch so she can pick Ella up. “Time to go.”
“Will you come to the park with us, Eden?” Ella asks, peering at Eden over Addy’s shoulder.
“Eden’s going to stay home and rest,” Addy answers, sparing Eden having to deny Ella.
It doesn’t spare the guilt though. He’s not working, hasn't been all week since he left a note on the door quitting the day after he ran out on Charlie. With all those extra hours, he should be spending more quality time with Addy and Ella, but all he’s done is hide in his room and cry, or cocoon himself into thecorner of the couch and disassociate. Today’s the first day he’s managed to feel halfway like himself, but that’s still not enough to get him out the door and face all that sunshine and noise.
“Will you have a tea party with me later?” Ella yells once Addy’s gotten them to the door.
“Consider it a date.”
Ella cheers, her happiness bolstering Eden’s mood. At least, until the door is locked behind them, and he’s left alone with the crippling silence from their empty apartment. He lays back on the couch, staring at the ceiling for who knows how long, mind buzzing with thoughts he doesn’t have the energy to avoid. At the forefront of them all is Charlie.
Charlie fucking King with his handsome face and big brown eyes. Charlie and his endless confidence and chatter. Charlie with his eyesore of a wardrobe that somehow looks good on him.
Charlie and his stupidly kind heart.
Charlie and the way he smiled at Eden, like him existing is something special.
It was him or you,his brain reminds him. The thought should soothe, but instead, it’s like pouring lemon juice on an open wound. Since Eden was old enough to understand his place in this stupid fucking world, he’s made sure no one could hurt him. Being shuffled around and taken, rejected, and used, left Eden with an acute awareness of how powerless he is in life. The moment he was old enough to reclaim that power, he did, and he made damn sure no one else could get close enough to hurt him ever again.
The only person who came close was Addy, and the awful truth is, if Eden hadn’t been so desperate and broken at the time, he probably would’ve rejected her too. She’d found her way into the cracks in Eden’s walls at his lowest, but with her and Ella at his side he built those walls back up, and he swore—fucking swore—no one would get through them again.
Until fucking Charlie.
Thinking about him makes Eden want to cry, or punch something. He settles for petulantly kicking at the pillows on the end of the couch, rolling himself against the back of the couch and burying his face into the cushions where he lets out a scream that leaves his throat raw, and his heart even rawer.
He did the right thing. He protected himself. It’s what he’s always done, what he’s always had to do, so why does it feel so fucking wrong?
Maybe everyone who left Eden was right about him. He’s not the kind of person someone would keep, and he proved it by walking out on the one person who he wishes might have.
Startled out of his thoughts by a knock at the door, Eden frowns. No one ever knocks on their door. Neither of them order shit online, they can’t afford it, and they don’t have friends that come over. Hell, even the landlord leaves notices in their mailbox rather than speak to them personally.
Whoever is outside knocks a second time, making Eden’s frown deepen. Their apartment is on the second floor in the far corner, so they don’t usually get solicitors either.
“Go away,” Eden screams from the couch when the person outside knocks a third time. The last thing Eden wants to deal with is a stranger.
“No thanks.”
The words are muffled by the door, but Eden knows that voice.
