Page 44 of Fireworks at Pennycress Inn
‘Then what is?’ She sighed heavily. Why were they even having this conversation? It didn’t change anything. It didn’t make anything any clearer. In fact, it just made her question what to believe or not even more. She slumped back against the sofa cushions.
‘I needed to fight for that promotion. I need it.’
Leaning forward, Polly looked across at him. She could barely hear him, he was speaking that softly. ‘I do too and if I’d known it wasn’t a sure thing, I’m not sure whether I’d have taken the job.’
‘I’m sorry.’
‘Why do you need the promotion? To prove something to your parents? To continue the Sinclair legacy at the trust? I think you can see why I need it.’ She swept her arms in front of her, encompassing the room. She needed the promotion for the money, and he needed it for what? Validation?
‘Legacy? No. I have nothing to prove to anyone.’ Shoving his hands in his pockets, Zac turned around to face her. Standing beneath the light, she could see the dark circles beneath his eyes again. What wasn’t he telling her?
‘Zac?’
Glancing down at the floor, Zac took a deep breath in, his chest rising beneath the grey T-shirt. ‘I need the money too, but that’s no excuse. I should have told you. I just thought…’
Wait, what? He needed the money? Zac Sinclair, the only son of the Sinclair family who had enough money to plough thousands into the trust every year up until a short time ago? What did he need the extra money for? To buy another ten vintage Porsches? ‘You thought what?’
He dragged his fingers through his hair. ‘I thought if I didn’t tell you that we were both up for the promotion, then I’d be able to prove myself.’
‘Huh, you thought you’d keep me in the dark so you could get one step ahead without me knowing.’ Polly clenched her fists. What gave him the right to think he could play with her life like this?
‘No.’ He shifted on the spot. ‘Yes, I suppose so. Something like that. Not that I had thought about it in that way, just that?—’
‘Right. Just in what way, then? What possible way could you have thought that you keeping quiet about us both competing for the promotion was fair?’ Jumping to her feet, she strode to the opposite end of the room. She didn’t want to be near him. She could barely look at him. ‘You had no right.’
‘I know. I didn’t.’ He held his hands out in front of him, palms forward. ‘I had no right at all to keep it from you and I had no right to treat you as I did, to make you feel as though the way I was acting was because of the kiss. In truth, I just had to distance myself from you because I was feeling guilty.’
‘Yeah right. I don’t believe for one second that you felt guilty for not telling me. I bet you were as pleased as punch when you realised I didn’t know about it. I bet you thought you could get ahead without me knowing, without me realising.’
‘Look, it wouldn’t have changed anything, even if you’d known. You wouldn’t have done anything differently, would you?’ He spoke hesitatingly, unsure of what he was implying.
She frowned. Would she? She was trying her best as it was and she would have done if she’d known Zac was competing for the promotion or not. ‘That’s not the point. You kept that from me and you made me feel as though I’d done something wrong.’
‘I’m sorry, that wasn’t my intention.’ Zac walked towards the middle of the room.
Turning to face him, Polly bit down on her thumbnail. Whether he’d meant to hurt her or not didn’t matter. He’d still done it.
‘I really am sorry. I know I was in the wrong keeping it from you like that, and I should have been honest with you. I wish I had, because maybe if I’d been honest from the start, I wouldn’t have messed up what there was between us.’
Polly took a step closer to him. ‘What do you mean?’
‘Please tell me you felt it too?’ Zac grimaced. ‘If not, then I really have messed everything up.’
Polly froze. Was he saying what she thought he was? Had he really felt something between them that night? No, he couldn’t have. If he had, then he certainly wouldn’t have prioritised the promotion over her. ‘What are you saying?’
‘I’m saying I felt a connection that night, at your leaving party. I felt something between us.’ Taking another step towards her, Zac paused again.
‘No, you didn’t. If you had, then you definitely wouldn’t have pushed me so completely away as you did, promotion up for grabs or not. We’d always got on until that night and then after it was as though you couldn’t stand to be around me.’
‘That was because I didn’t know what to do. I was torn.’ He took another step until he was standing right in front of her. ‘I didn’t know how to act.’
‘Because you were trying your best to swindle me out of a promotion?’
‘No, because I had to put the chance of me getting that promotion ahead of my own feelings, ahead of how I feel for you.’ He held out his hands towards her.
‘And now what?’ He wasn’t making any sense. It was as though everything he was saying was in some cryptic language she was trying to decipher without the secret code. ‘You suddenly don’t need it?’
Zac shook his head ever so slightly as he reached out to take her hands in his. ‘I’m afraid I do, but after working in the office together and then the car journey yesterday and…’ He nodded towards where they’d fallen asleep on the sofa. ‘I can’t keep lying to myself and I need to find out if you feel something, too.’
