The one I’ve been avoiding, maybe the most of all.
Freddie.
My thumb shakes as I open a new text.
I type three times and delete it all.
Everything feels either too much or not enough.
I think about saying, “I need you.” I think about typing, “Please don’t hate me.” But the words taste like begging, and I’m so tired of begging people to stay.
Finally, I settle on the only thing I can manage:
Ivy: Can we talk before I work tomorrow? Please? It’s urgent.
I stare at it.
Hover.
Then hit send.
Three dots appear and disappear, like he was going to reply… then didn’t.
I close my eyes and let the weight settle on my chest.
He might already be getting back with her.
Trina.
I saw her hand on him, that fake soft look on her face sayingsorry. Like she’s changed.
Maybe she has.
Maybe he’s giving her another shot.
But even if he is… he still deserves to know.
This is his life too. His possibility. His maybe.
The phone stays silent in my hand.
Pickle huffs against my shoulder. It’s this little wheezy sigh that says he’s fed up with today too. His warm snout nudges under my chin, trying to tuck himself inside me, to curl up right next to my heart where all the broken pieces are rattling around.
I slide my fingers into the fur behind his ears, feeling the tiny twitches as he settles closer, and for a second, just one quiet second, the ache in my chest eases. He’s saying,I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.And man, I cling to that. To him. Because right now, he’s the only proof I have that staying is possible.
And somewhere, deep under the wreckage of the day, I feel it again.
The flutter of fear.
And hope.
And dread.
Triplets.
Three tiny heartbeats.
Waiting for answers I still don’t have.