Page 111 of Light My Fire Three Times
“She’s been exhausted,” Karl says quietly, trying to explain something I should’ve known but never bothered to listen to. “She’s been pushing herself too hard. I?—”
I hear the words in his voice, but they don’t make sense.
I don’t push myself. I’m just trying to keep things together, make everything work, and keep up. Isn’t that what everyone does?
The doctor nods, her eyes never leaving me as she starts to check the IV line, adjusting it slightly. “That’s what I thought. Stress, exhaustion, dehydration… you’ve been running on empty for too long. Your body finally said enough.”
I blink at her, her words not quite sinking in.
“I don’t understand,” I murmur. “I’ve just been… living. I mean, it’s just a lot of stuff, but I’ve been fine. It’s… just normal stuff.”
Karl’s grip on my hand tightens, and I feel a warmth spread through me.
“You’re not fine, Liv,” he says. “You can’t keep pretending like you’re okay. You need to take care of yourself a little more through everything.”
I shake my head, but everything is spinning.
“I am taking care of myself,” I whisper, but it sounds hollow, even to me.
The words taste wrong.
The doctor steps back and looks at me with a gentle but unflinching expression. “It’s not just physical exhaustion, Olivia. This is emotional, too. You’re burning out. You’ve been carrying too much on your shoulders for too long without enough rest. And your body has finally hit the breaking point.”
I want to argue. I want to tell her I’m fine, that I’m just fine. But my words feel too heavy. I’m drowning in them. Everything is starting to feel so much bigger than I can manage.
There’s too much happening around me and inside me, and I’m no longer sure how to control it.
Tears sting the back of my eyes, and I force them away, but it’s hard. It’s so hard.
The doctor glances between Karl and me, her face softening just a little. “You’ll need to rest, Olivia. We’ll continue to monitor you for a while longer, but with the right care, you should makea full recovery. Just take it easy for the next couple of days. You need to focus on your health.”
She gives me a reassuring smile, but I can’t shake the feeling that I’m still not getting it. Rest? How am I supposed to rest when there’s so much to fix? I want to ask her that, but the words get caught in my throat.
With one last look at Karl, the doctor steps out, leaving a quiet that feels too heavy.
I close my eyes, trying to ignore the pulse in my temples. I wish I could get up, shake this feeling off, and walk out of here. But even my thoughts feel like they’re moving through molasses.
Karl’s hand is still there, a quiet reminder that he’s not going anywhere.
I try to breathe through the heaviness in my chest, but it doesn’t get better.
I open my eyes and look at him, his expression unreadable, but there’s something in his gaze that makes the words spill out before I can stop them.
“I don’t know what to do anymore,” I say, cracking a little. “I’m so tired of trying to keep everything together, Karl. The coffee truck, my stupid case with Stokes, and dealing with Richard’s nonsense. It's just… too much. I don’t even know where to start. I could handle it all, but now I’m here… and I don’t even know how I ended up like this.”
Karl shifts in his chair, his jaw tightening, but he doesn’t say anything right away. I can see the internal struggle on his face. He wants to say something, but isn’t sure how to approach it.
Finally, he sighs.
“Leo told me a bit about the case,” he admits, his gaze shifting away briefly. “But I’d like to hear it from you.”
“I haven’t told you because I’ve just been waiting to see what happened.” I shake my head to myself. “But he’s really comingdown on me. He’s accusing me of embezzling funds from the company before I left. He’s trying to sue me.”
Karl’s face hardens as the words leave my mouth.
“Embezzling?” he repeats, rough with disbelief. “That bastard.”
I can’t help but flinch at the sharpness in his tone, but it’s not anger directed at me. It's the kind of anger that builds up for someone you care about, someone you feel a deep sense of protectiveness toward. And for some reason, that makes me feel both lighter and heavier at the same time.
