Page 24 of Nyx
I was only one man, after all.
The memory of those long years brings with it a suffocating loneliness. Despite the heat and the sweat that eases its way along my shoulder blades, a shiver works my spine.
Solitary confinement has always been the harshest form of punishment. The prospect of being utterly and completely alone, of losing yourself in the silence, is enough to keep even the worst criminals in line. But when you’re both the prisoner and the jailer, there’s no one there to deem your sentence served.
It’s just you and your thoughts.
Your memories and your shame.
Voices chatter in the distance, and I pull myself out of my head. I’m here now, and that’s what matters. It’s what I have to remember. A flash of green and gold steals my attention, and I zero in on Nyx’s head bobbing as he checks the plants one final time. The giant floppy hatshades his eyes as he makes sure there are no more vegetables to harvest.
I’m here now. Here with him.
Footsteps approach from behind me, and I force myself to swallow the last remnants of my memories before I turn. Taryn approaches with a cautious, mild smile on her face. “Ronan wanted me to tell everyone dinner will be in half an hour.”
My nose twitches as I take a deep inhale. The smoky scent of the fire mixes with something mouthwatering. “What’s he making?”
“He’s sautéing up a giant batch of stir-fry,” she answers, and my stomach rumbles in a loud growl that makes her chuckle. “Rice and an absolutely massive bowl of chopped veggies.”
“Let me guess,” I say with a wry grin. “They’re the ones he deemed too ‘imperfect’ to be canned.”
She leans against the fence, her amusement pursing her lips as she glances towards the delicious aroma of dinner. “He was just looking for a way to bust Xeni’s balls.”
“Yeah, he’s good at that,” I mutter under my breath. We both laugh, and Nyx’s head pops up at the sound. His eyes find mine, and my gaze roams across his frame. He’s filthy, just like me. Dirt covers almost every inch of his body, turning his knees and feet the same dark brown as the soil. Leaves stick out from his hair, and a slight reddish tint colors his cheeks from the heat and exertion. He looks tired, but peaceful.
“Why don’t you cool off before it’s time to eat? You’ve earned a break.” There’s a teasing tone to Taryn’s words, and when I glance over my shoulder at her, a small smirkplays on her face. She nods in Nyx’s direction. “Both of you.Together.”
My cheeks and neck already sport a sun-ripened flush, but somehow, my skin heats further under her unnervingly green eyes. “That’s not… we aren’t… um…”
“Reyes, sweetie,” she chuffs as she grips my upper arm and jostles me. Taryn is several inches taller than I am, and the strength in her grip surprises me. “You know you aren’t fooling anyone, right?”
“I, I, uh,” I stutter, my gaze darting to Nyx’s curious eyes, and I stammer myself into a long silence that’s followed by a resigned sigh. “Yeah, I suppose I’m not.”
Another quiet huff of laughter leaves her nose before her demeanor turns somber. “Are you sure you can handle it?”
“Handle what?” My defenses rise as I stare at Nyx. He kneels beside one of the cucumber plants with the tips of his hair brushing the ground, searching for any ripe fruit that might’ve been left behind.
“Him,” she says, and the quiet word hits like a slap as my jaw tightens and I whirl to face her.
“He doesn’t need to be handled. He’s not somethingto be manipulated, or a fucking tool I have to learn to use.”
“Of course he isn’t,” she argues, her brow flexing upward. “That isn’t what I was trying to say. But you can’t possibly understand what he has gone through. None of us can.”
“I don’t need a play-by-play of his entire life to know—” I cut myself off with a growl, and my eyes dart away into the obscurity of the forest. There’s too much to see in them right now, and I’m too exposed.
She hums low in the back of her throat with a mix of amusement and worry. “That bad, huh?” My jaw tenses, but I refuse to answer. Eventually she sighs and says, “Alright, fair enough. After everything you’ve done today, I suppose you’ve earned your secrets.”
“Some secret,” I mutter, and she smirks as she pushes off the fence.
“Go clean up,” she yells over her shoulder as she walks away, and I pull a face at her retreating figure. When I turn around, Nyx stands beside the cucumber plant he was inspecting, hugging his arms to his chest and shuffling between his feet. His pointed ears are perked, paying close attention, but he waits for me to approach him.
Always waiting for me to be the one to initiate.
I’m not bitter about his hesitation. If anything, I cherish it. He doesn’t stiffen when I approach anymore, and he holds eye contact longer during our talks. They’re baby steps—half-strides with backward fumbles—but I celebrate each one.
The earth doesn’t have to move for a victory to be meaningful, and this is. This trust in his eyes as I walk towards him is significant,monumental, and I wear it like a badge of honor.
“Hey,” I say softly, whispering even though we’re alone.
