Page 34 of Nyx
“If you promise, it must be true.” I peek at him to find him like me, with his eyes closed and face towards the sun,but there’s peace in his expression. We fall into another comfortable silence that isn’t quite as oppressive.
A thought that has plagued my mind for weeks emerges, and this time, I give it a voice. “Are the others frustrated with me?”
“What?” Reyes asks, sitting up and leaning forward until his shadow covers me. The sun makes a halo around him and darkens his face, but as I squint, I can see his confusion. “Why would they be?”
“Everyone waits on me… to take them to the rifts. They do nothing because of me. It is my fault we stand still.”
“That isn’t true,” he argues. “Think about everything that’s happening in the village right now. Harvesting, and repairing houses, and making this place a functional home again.”
“But I promised.”
“You can keep that promise whenyou’reready, and not a moment before.”
“I wish I was not so scared,” I whisper, and Reyes’s face contorts as his eyes turn sad. If the roles were reversed, he wouldn’t have these hesitations. Wouldn’t wake up at night terrified at the mere thought of leaving this place. A lifetime spent in a cage means I’ve become comfortable standing still, beingstagnant. In its own way, the village is its own special sort of cage. It may not be made of iron bars, but it holds me regardless. “The world is so big.”
“It is,” Reyes agrees, absently tracing his fingertips over the rock. “During those years I was alone in my camp, it felt like the world was limited to that place. Like it was no bigger than the walls that surrounded it, and life beyondjust didn’t exist. Once I left, I felt like one of those helpless dandelion seeds in the wind.”
“Carried along,” I whisper, and he nods.
“Forced by someone else’s wind to somewhere outside my control. And now that I want to go back—”
“Go back?” I interrupt, and the panic that waited in the recesses of my mind surges to the front. It sits on my chest like a weight until I can’t draw in air.
Reyes’s grimace is apologetic as he nods. “For a quick trip. It’s why I asked you to come out here with me. I wanted to tell you I’m leaving for a few days.”
“No,” I insist, my voice louder than he’s ever heard it, and his eyes flare wide. “No, you… no. Why?”
He stares at me for a long moment, then gestures towards the village as he twists to look back at the dense forest. “Our food won’t last the winter, and it’s my responsibility to make sure there’s enough to feed everyone. There is a greenhouse at my old camp that we need here.”
“Green house?” I ask, confused by his words. I don’t understand what he’s saying, or why it’s important enough to take him away from me. His eyes zero back in on mine.
“It’s a building made of glass walls. It stays warm, so plants can grow even when it’s cold. That way, we’ll have some of our garden inside it and will be able to provide for everyone.” He gives me a cautious smile. “You’ll love it, and you can spend as much time there as you want.”
I picture it for a moment—a place where the forest lives inside—and know it’s true. I would love it, but right now, I can’t find joy in the idea.
“You are leaving me.”
“No,” he insists immediately, then hardens his expression and tone. “No.I would never leave you. I am doing thisforyou, to take care of you. To make sure…” He falters, glancing away as his throat works in a rough swallow. When he continues, he speaks in the soft way he always has with me. “To make sure you have everything you need.”
“What if I already have it? What if it is here?” Another of those pained expressions scrunches his face, and he shakes his head, refusing to meet my eyes. “What if I do not want you to go?”
“Let me do this. Let me take care of you like you deserve. I’ll come back.”
“You cannot promise.”
His eyes snap to mine at that comment. “Nothing could keep me away from you.”
“You do not know that!” My voice lifts, and his eyes grow even wider than before as I scramble off the rocks. My arms hug across my chest and squeeze, needing the pressure to ground myself. “What if they find you? Or you get hurt? What if you…”
My throat constricts, stealing the edge of my breath. It’s been so easy these past few weeks—pretending I’m not a slave to this broken mind. But I am. I always will be.
Reyes approaches from behind, but I only hug myself tighter. “Nyx, it’s alright,” he whispers. “We’ll be safe, and we won’t take any risks. No one is going to take me from you.”
“But what if they do? If they capture you?”
“Do you think I’d let anything keep us apart?” he asks, and his voice shakes just enough for me to turn around and face him.
“Us?”
