Page 38 of Nyx
Delivering his snacks and watching him grab a muffin from the basket I carry.
Sitting on the rocks, with his presence so close I’m drunk off it, but not touching. Never touching.
Another memory hits me and steals the remaining oxygen from my lungs. Those times when he begs me not to leave and grabs for me. Even now, I can feel my shirt pulling against my torso as he tugs, his fingers wrapped around the fabric and his eyes wide.
He’s never…
We’ve never…
“We have to go back,” I croak, and Taryn and Lillith glance at each other in surprise. “He was already so upset that I was leaving him. Oh, gods, I fuckinglefthim.” My fingers jam into my hair, snagging in a tangle that makes my eyes water. “He’s going to be so fucking confused and scared. I have to go back!” My voice has risen into a shout, and Taryn chews on the inside of her cheek for a moment before she answers in an infuriatingly calm tone.
“Reyes, we just got here—”
“I don’t fucking care!” I bellow, and Lillith’s passive demeanor shifts to something predatory in an instant. She’s alert, muscles tense and eyes locked on me. It makes my hackles rise, my instincts alight with the silent threat, but it doesn’t change my mind. “I do not fucking care,” I repeat more calmly, but my entire body quakes with the effort of containing myself.
“You’ll care if winter hits and we don’t have enough food,” Taryn argues. “I know you, Reyes, and if he’s hungry with nothing to eat, you will blame yourself. It will destroy you.”
“Andthiswill destroy him! I’ll figure it out,” I snarl through gritted teeth. “Taryn, I can’t leave him there to deal with this… I fuckingcan’t.If you won’t help me, I’ll go back myself.”
“Reyes,” she calls, but I slide the van door open so hard it bounces back and knocks me in the arm as I scramble out and jog towards the garage. “Reyes!” she shouts, and thundering footsteps precede Lillith blocking me with her enormous body. Arms crossed and standing at her full height, she stares down at me.
“Don’t make me throw you over my shoulder,” she warns, and I bare my teeth like a feral thing.
“What would you do?!” She rears back in surprise at the anger in my tone. My hands fling around me in my helpless panic, needing an outlet for this fury. “If it was Taryn, and you knew she was hurting? If you were responsible?! What would you do to get back to her? What fuckingmountainswould you move to make sure she was okay?” Her posture droops as she glances over my shoulder to where Taryn cautiously approaches. “What would you have me do?”
“How about this?” Taryn steps beside me with another of those pitying smiles. “Why don’t you show Lillith where the truck is stored, and she can work on getting it started while you and I carry the greenhouse out here toload.”
“It could start right away. What if it starts? What if I could go to him?” I argue, but Lillith shakes her head.
“If it’s been sitting for years like you say it has been, it won’t. It’ll need some coaxing.”
“But what if itdoes?!” I shout.
“Ifit starts,” she interrupts with that booming voice that echoes through the otherwise silent night, “we’ll plan from there. You aren’t driving off in this state. It’s too dangerous, and we won’t let you do something stupid.” I snarl at her, but she only raises a brow, though her face softens. “We want to get you back to the village as soon as possible, too, Reyes. You know that, right? That we would never do anything to keep you from him?”
My shoulders fall as the fight drains away. “I… I know that, I do. Shit, I’m sorry,” I mutter. Anger fades into a wave of worry as I stare down at my glowing hand in the darkness. The light flickers and swirls under my skin, and I picture him doing the same. My heart lurches and my stomach is tight, every instinct screaming at me to do whatever it takes to return to him. Steal the van and leave them here, or argue until I convince them to go with me. Hells, it has me half convinced I should start running just to find my way back to him.
I wonder what he’s doing right now. Wonder if he’s hurting.
“Come on,” Taryn says as I swallow past the lump in my throat and nod, leading them towards the garage. “It’s going to be a long night, and we’ve got work to do.”
Reyes
Assoonasthedusty tarp is ripped off the truck, my stomach sinks. Optimism is a fragile, failing thing as I examine the frame, knowing in my heart it won’t start. Rust eats at the wheel well, and spiderwebs thick as gauze bandages spin around the mirrors and handles. The eight-legged creatures skitter away as Taryn’s lantern illuminates their home, and I shiver at the hundreds of spindly legs as they disappear into crevices.
The lockbox is so dirty it blends into the wall, still full of keys like some sort of memorial. Most of the vehicles that match them are no longer here. Thieves have long known how to hotwire, so the keys weren't needed when they were stolen. I watched so many of them roll through the gates, driven by groups of raiders I couldn’t confront. One evening, as another of them drove away, I tried to protect the rest. I dragged more obstacles to the entrance of the garage, built up boxes and crates to hide the remaining few vehicles, and cloaked them with tarpsand bags of junk. It worked, because the three I hid here remain, cobweb-covered though they might be.
“Come on,” Taryn says as I hand the keys over to Lillith. “Let’s find the greenhouses while she gets to work.”
“But what if it starts?” I ask again, just as stubbornly as before. My arms cross and my chin juts defiantly, and she sighs but nods as Lillith clears a path and crams herself into the driver’s seat. Every one of my nerves explodes, clinging to that seed of hope inside me that waits to flourish, but the engine doesn’t turn over.
It doesn’t even click.
Reality is as jarring as a bucket of cold water, and a heavy breath pushes more oxygen out of my lungs than I can spare. My head spins as static forms in my vision, and my temper explodes.
“Fuck!”I bellow as my knuckles meet the stack of boxes beside me. One tumbles to the ground and something shatters inside it, but it isn’t enough to satisfy my fury. I snarl as I pull my fist back again, ready to destroy everything here just to get some relief from this anger.
Powerful fingers wrap around my wrist, and I bare my teeth as I whirl to face Taryn. “That’s enough. Get your temper under control, Reyes.”
