Page 53 of Nyx
Reyes swallows and takes a tentative step closer. “Did I upset you? I shouldn’t have held you when you didn’t want it… I didn’t… didn’t mean to. I just…” He trails off, his voice so conflicted that it aches my chest all over again. “I want you… us.” It’s so, so very quiet.
Sweet flower.
So blind to the fact that he is perfect.
“It was not you. I want, too,” I whisper, glancing over my shoulder at him where he stands still as a statue. “I w-want, and I don’t know how to have. I haveneverhad anything.”
“Tell me what I did wrong.”
My eyes drop to the ground, my instinct to shut down battling with the hard truth that I owe him an explanation. “I have not… bathed. Since you found me. It never bothered me… there. I didn’t have a choice, but here, I-I do. I don’t want you to see me like… that.”
I peek up as his tongue darts between his lips. He nods, swallowing again as he crosses his arms. “You were upset because you’re dirty?”
“Yes.”
He nods again, a nervous motion that he does when he’s thinking. I wonder if he realizes he does it. “It wasn’t because of me?”
“No,katsurrel,it was not you.”
He’s quiet then. So silent it’s unnatural. And in a horrifying rush, I realize I’ve said it out loud.
That secret name.
The one I call him inside my mind, in those moments where I pretend he’s mine. Blood boils under my cheeks, but he only offers me a tentative smile. When he doesn’t bring it up, I’m split in half, stuck between disappointment and relief.
“It’s getting late,” he finally says, and disappointment wins. Reyes watches me carefully as my face falls. “You’ve slept quite a bit today, but you still need more rest to recover. It’s… this has been a lot to handle, and I don’t want to add to your stress. If you take a bath and get some sleep, you’ll feel better in the morning.”
He’s right. I know he is, even if it isn’t what I want to hear. I only nod, hugging my arms over my chest. He steps in front of me, so instead of staring at the floor, I’m looking at the tips of his toes. “Don’t pout, precious,” he whispers, and I realize that’s exactly what I’m doing, though I don’t stop. “Can I touch you? Just your chin… I won’t get too close.”
“Yes,” I whisper shakily. Gentle fingers brush the point of my chin and tilt it up to meet his eyes.
“While you wash, I’ll put fresh sheets on your bed and bring you clean clothes to sleep in.”
“Something of yours?” The flush on my cheeks reemerges, but I don’t look away.
“Is that what you want?” His voice has gone low again, and that same swooping rush low in my belly hits, spreading warmth across my back and up my spine.
“Yes.”
“Alright. I’ll leave it for you on your bed, and a glass of water on your table. You need to drink it before you sleep.”
“Okay,” I agree, soaking in the strange sensation of someone taking care of me.
“In the morning, I’ll bring you breakfast and we can start fresh.”
“You are not staying?” I blurt, and I’m immediately ashamed. I’m asking him to sleep on my hard floor for another restless night, just because I find comfort in his presence.
“I think it’s better if I don’t,” he answers softly. “You need rest, and I need… I need a minute.”
“Away from me?”
“No,” he rushes to say, but then sighs. “Yes. But not… not in a bad way, Nyx. I need to clear my head. That’s all.”
Disappointment dampens some of the heat inside me, but I don’t argue with him on this. “You will come in the morning?”
His thumb strokes up my jawline and along my chin, under my bottom lip once more before he pulls away. “You’ll be the first face I see.”
Reyes
