Page 61 of Nyx
“Yes?” I prompt when he doesn’t continue.
“I never want to pressure you, Nyx.”
“Pressure?” My brows meet, attempting to connect the word to what he’s saying, and he chuckles as he faces me.
“I don’t want you to do something you’re unsure about because you think it’s what I want.”
“Unsure? You think I am not sure?” I demand, and he hesitates.
“I’m not trying to tell you what you’re feeling, but you’ve gone a long time without certain… urges?” His cheeks flame again, and my jaw sets as my teeth clamp together.
“Do not treat me like a child.” His eyes flare at the anger he can undoubtedly hear in my tone. “If you do not want…me,that is different, but don’t tell me what I want.”
“I didn’t mean it that way,” he says as he rushes closer. “Of course I want you. Gods, I’ve wanted you since the first time I laid eyes on you, don’t you know that? Can’t you see how desperate I am to have you in any way possible?”
My arms fold over my chest as I try to turn away, but he grabs my shoulder and stops me. “Don’t. Don’t shut me out, okay? Please?” He takes my marked hand and lifts it to his mouth, pressing kisses along the glow of my knuckles. The rising tide of my anger crashes as if it fell against a cliffside, disappearing as I focus on the drag of his lips.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper, my eyes flitting up to his.
“You don’t have to be sorry, you just have to let me in.” His fingertips move to my chest, dancing above my pounding heart. “Let me in here.”
“You are all that lives there.” My voice is only a whisper, and his fingers flex against my skin. “It is already yours.”
He whimpers my name as he pulls me against him, his heart thudding against my ear. Sweat makes his shirt stick to his body, and his natural smell is heightened, but it’s intoxicating. Greedy for more, I push my nose into his chest and breathe him in as his hands dance along my spine.
“Why don’t we cool off?” His mouth is deliciously close to my ear, and I shiver from the proximity. “Go for a swim?”
“Yes,” I whisper, and he pulls back with a smile. It’s the soft, secret one he saves for me, and I drink it in as he takes my hand and weaves our fingers together. We walk along the outskirts of camp, and soon we’re under the forest canopy with the tinkling rush of water growing louder.
The deepest part of the stream forms a round pool, surrounded by trees and rocks, and always gives me peace. He chews on his lip as he releases my hand. “I’ll leave my shorts on,” he says, and I nod my agreement. Not long ago, nakedness was of no concern to me, but ever since we’ve grown closer, I’m hyper-aware of my body and its reaction to him.
I can’t pull my eyes away as he tugs his shirt over his head and tosses it aside. Dark, coarse curls cover his torso,growing denser beneath his navel. His arms and chest are thick and strong, and there is a deliciously soft layer over his stomach. There’s a noticeable line between his dark coppery skin and the lighter tan where his clothes shield him from the sun. I drink him in, allowing my eyes to roam.
He runs a hand through his hair, like he does when his nerves are getting the best of him. “Not as impressive as some of the others,” he murmurs, crossing his arms over his chest like he’s trying to hide from me. He’s taken my silence for something other than the quiet reverence it is, and I step closer to remedy that mistake.
My fingers wrap around his wrist, and I unfold his arms before pulling his hand to the hem of my shirt. “You are perfect.” I mirror the words he’s spoken to me so many times as I release him and nod, and he fists the fabric with a soft groan.
“You really are going to kill me one of these days,” he mutters. My heart pounds inside my ribcage. It used to be nothing but a black void, but it’s now filled with light and sounds and color and laughter. He inches my shirt higher, seeking permission, and I nod as he pulls it over my head. My instinct is the same as his—cover myself and hide from his inspection. Camouflage these prominent ribs and concave belly, and pretend for a moment that the world never broke me.
That I’m just Nyx, and he’s just Reyes, and in another life, we could’ve met when I was whole. When I had more than…thisto offer him. This broken soul and too-thin body, and the remnants of a heart that beats only for him. Pieces of the puzzle that will never fit together the way theyshould, warped and twisted until they’re unrecognizable fragments of the person I was meant to be.
But his eyes don’t hold pity, or disgust, or any of the terrible things my mind tells me they should. They peruse my body like it’s something special—something to be cherished—and gods, how I want to know how that feels. His eyes land on mine, and if my heart knocked against my sternum any harder, it would leap right out of my chest.
“Come on,” he says softly, and takes a step backwards into the water, holding his hand out for me. I take it, wrap my fingers around his, and together, we jump.
Nyx
Handstightlybound,wecrash beneath the water, and it’s the best sort of shock to my system. I’m content to stay underneath its depths where the world is muffled and safe, but Reyes kicks his feet and I follow him to the surface. Strands of hair hang in his face and plaster to the back of his neck, while droplets trickle along his forehead and cheeks. He looks over at me and grins, and even if I weren’t in the water, I’d be floating.
“Your smile,” I say, blowing a stray drip from the tip of my nose, and he cocks his head.
“What about it?”
“You do not smile at the others like that.”
“No, I don’t,” he quietly agrees.
“Why not?”
