Page 9 of Nyx
“Not tonight. They’re great, but it’s been an exhausting day, and I just wanted to be alone.”
“Oh,” he breathes, and his gaze falls to the floor. “You can be alone. Thank you for—”
“Oh, no,” I blurt out, my words tumbling over one another as they rush out. I hate that I’m interrupting him, but I’m desperate to explain. He tenses, but his eyes stay glued to the ground. “No. Nyx, I didn’t mean I don’t want to be around you, and I wasn’t saying I want to leave. I’vejust been by myself for a very long time, and they can be…”
“Loud?” he guesses in that same shy whisper.
A quiet laugh blows from my nose. “Yeah. Loud. They’re amazing, but they’re a lot to handle sometimes.” He shuffles between his feet, risking a flickering glance at my face again. “Um, maybe one day we could eat alone… together?”
A faint darkness tints his cheeks, his flush almost a burnished rosy copper against his skin. “You want to… eat with me?”
“Yeah, I do. Not today. I know I sprung it on you out of nowhere. But I’d really like to spend time with you. Even if we’re just there… just alone together. No expectations. Is that… would that be okay?”
Nyx is quiet for so long that my heart cinches in my chest, becoming tighter by the second with the weight of his rejection.
And it’s stupid.
It’s stupid and selfish. I shouldn’t demand more than he can offer right now, mere minutes after swearing to Ronan I could handle it.
With a forced smile, I nod and retreat half a step, but my movements are stiff and unnatural. Gravel crunches under the sole of my shoe, and the sound slices through the silence. “It’s okay. I’m sorry I asked out of the blue like this. Ignore me, alright? Pretend I didn’t ask, and enjoy your meal.” Face flaming, I spin and take a single stride away when he speaks.
“Wait,” he whispers, and I freeze but don’t turn towards him. Instead, I stare at my bowl in my hand. “Reyes?” It’s the first time he’s said my name, and the sweet, uncertain sound gives me the courage to face him.
He holds his dinner with one hand while the other grasps at his shorts, fisting the material that swallows him whole. “Yeah, Nyx?” I ask gently, and he glances up at me with his lip pinched between his teeth again.
“Ronan is… bad with…” He trails off for a second, loosening his grip to gesture around at the trees above us. “Nature. He does not know the words. The names.”
“Of the plants?” I ask, and relief washes over his expression as he nods.
“Maybe… you will teach me their names?”
Unbidden, a smile spreads over my face, and his lips twitch in response with the tiniest offering. I drink in the momentary show of happiness, still grinning as I say, “Tell you what… I’ll make a deal with you.”
“A deal?” Gods, he’s so adorably curious as he flutters those long lashes a few times, scrunching his nose.
“I’ll teach you the plants I know, and you can teach me their names in your language.”
“I… teach you? My words?”
“Your words are important, too,” I say softly as his eyes shimmer and move up towards the sky. “Why should you be the only one learning something new?”
“I am b-bad to teach.” His words stumble as I watch the potent emotions wash over his face. “My mind… is not always…” A quiet, frustrated groan slips from his throat as he gestures around again, the movements more agitated this time.
“It’s alright,” I soothe, keeping my voice as level as possible even as my heart cracks at his pain. “There’s no pressure, Nyx. We won’t call it teaching. We’ll just be two friends, spending time in the forest and sharing what we know.”
His eyes close, and a single tear slides down his cheek. My chest squeezes as I watch him attempt to collect himself. “You want to be my friend?” he finally asks.
“I’d love to be your friend.” His damp eyes open, and as he meets my gaze, the prominent Adam’s apple in his throat bobs. “Everything on your own time and by your rules, okay? When you’re ready, all you have to do is come find me. And if you decide you don’t want to, that’s okay, too.”
“I want,” he manages to whisper, tears clinging to his lashes like dewdrops. “I want.”
My eyes burn as my throat tightens again. “Then you’ll have. Whatever you want that’s in my power to give, you’ll have it.” He nods, lip wobbling as his eyes hit the floor, and I know he needs to be alone. “Eat your dinner before it gets cold, okay? Do what makes you happy, Nyx. You know where to find me.”
“Thank you,” he whispers, and I force myself to walk across the path to my own tiny home. His stare follows me like a physical thing, and I can’t help it as I turn around and look over my shoulder once I reach my door.
Nyx’s eyes widen, and he ducks his head like he’s ashamed I caught him staring. Sheets of hair fall into his face, hiding him from the world once more. I smile even though he can’t see me, and step into my own quiet house.
And there in the solitude, I hide, too.
