Page 59 of Nyx
“It seemed so important at the time… like I had to prove to myself that I could be brave enough to leave. We needed the greenhouse, and I’m glad we have it now, but it wasn’t worth what I put you through. I never wanted to hurt you.”
“I know this.” He releases my chin. “This is new to me… talking. It is hard sometimes, for me to remember I have someone to listen.”
“You always have someone to listen,” I say softly, and he smiles again before he goes back to hunting for a rock.
“That day, I wanted to ask you to stay, but I didn’t know how. When you touched me, I felt the bond. That was the second time I should have said something, but I was scared.”
“You aren’t to blame,” I say, but he shakes his head.
“Neither are you. There is not always blame. Sometimes things just are.”
“You aren’t upset with me for leaving?”
He tilts his head back and forth, and I appreciate the honesty. “I was, then. But it was not fair to expect you to understand what I didn’t say. I know this.” Another rock doesn’t pass his inspection, but the next one he pulls out makes him pause. “This is the one,” he decides, and I move closer to see what he’s chosen for me today.
Heart in my throat, I step up behind him until my chest almost meets his back. “What’s so special about this one?” I ask, and he twists his face to look at me. He’s only inches away, and breathtaking this close.
“Hi,” he whispers, and I grin as he turns back to the rock in his hand. It’s dark, nearly black, with tan veinsrunning through, and he traces them with his fingertip. “Is it not obvious?”
“Uh, no?” I say, and he clicks his tongue.
“All these lines, they hold the darkness together, just like you hold me together.”
“Nyx,” I whisper, wondering if he has any idea what his words do to me. “Can I hug you?” He turns towards me, and as his face tilts up, mine tilts down, and the nearness is intoxicating.
He nods and lays his cheek on my shoulder. He fits so perfectly here in my arms, and I pull in a deep breath as I bury my nose in his hair. “I like this,” I whisper, and he nods again.
“I like you,” he whispers back, and I breathe another quiet laugh.
“Good, because you’re stuck with me.” He doesn’t say a word, just snuggles closer.
Nyx
Toolsbangandvoicesshout back and forth as I leave the woods. It’s early for work to have already begun, though as I note how high the sun is in the sky, I realize I lost a few hours with Elas. He visits less frequently now and says his mind is clearing as the days pass. Sleep comes easier for him, and every time we talk, he seems a little lighter. Seeing his peace makes me feel like I am finally doing something meaningful. Even if I’m only listening and sharing my experiences, I’m making a difference.
Elas is a warrior. Enormous and strong and fearless… or so I thought, until I realized he is afraid, too.
They were able to break such a powerful soldier—give him nightmares and flashbacks, and enough anguish to pull him from his bed at night. Our stories aren’t the same, but he understands what I went through. He shares this part of my history, and it makes me feel less alone.
Lillith and Taryn were also captives of that place, but they seem unaffected. Perhaps they seek their comfort ineach other in the quiet hours when they’re together, or maybe, unlike us, they left their demons in the rubble.
My fingers absentmindedly dig into Boomerang's fur as she walks beside me, and as we reach the end of the dirt path, I find Reyes sitting on top of the greenhouse. He straddles the peak as Lillith passes him another pane of glass. A smile tugs at my lips as he drops it inside its wooden frame, then gives it a satisfied nod.
He’s eager to get fresh seeds planted in their new home. Even though they’ve only been working on it for a few days, he’s anxious. We have plenty of food stores, and the outdoor garden is still producing, but Reyes views feeding the village as his responsibility. He glances over his shoulder like he senses me, and tosses his hand up in a wave as a bright smile spreads over his face. I wave back, and head into the garden so I don’t interrupt his work.
Every morning, Reyes has a new flower to tuck behind my ear, and when I take it out, I add it to my collection. Seven flowers, so far. One week of this lightness that never seems to go away. We eat breakfast before our days start, and while he works on the greenhouse, I’ve taken over tending the plants. It allows me to be productive without being overwhelmed by the others.
With a basket looped over my arm, I head between the rows of corn, while Boomerang paws at the ground. She spins in a circle, changing direction a few times as she fluffs the soil, but eventually settles with a lazy snort. I grin at her balled-up form before turning back to my task. Green pea pods use the stems—theirstalks, according to Reyes—to climb and search for more sunshine. The humiditymakes the heat stifling, but it’s more bearable in the shade. I snack as I harvest, enjoying the crunch of the sweet peas.
Footsteps approach, and I recognize their cautious movement. “I missed you this morning,” Reyes says in a low voice, and I spin towards him with an excited grin. His eyes dance across my face. “Gods, you’re gorgeous when you smile.”
My nerves take flight like they do whenever he’s around, fluttering and flapping inside my chest. “I’m sorry I was not at breakfast.”
“It’s alright. You don’t always have to eat with me.”
“I want to,” I rush to say. “I just had… things to do.”
An understanding takes over his face as he nods. “Rough night?”
