Page 83 of Call It What You Want
The silence afterward is almost unbearable. So I decide to distract myself by changing my clothes, washing my face, and brushing my hair, in an attempt to feel human again.
A while later, I’m sitting on the couch, bored, scrolling through my socials, when a new text from Chase pops up.
Hey. Been thinking about our last conversation. Can we talk?
I blink down at the message, my throat tight. It’s been a few days since our conversation at the beach party, and he’s probably wondering what I’ve decided. WhathaveI decided? Do I even know?
Sure. I’m home. Can you come over now?
Be there in ten.
Honestly, I have no idea what I’m going to tell him. It’s not like I’m officiallywithJackson, so, technically, I guess I’m free to get back with Chase. But I’m also a murderer, who may or may not go to jail at any second, so…yeah. It’s pretty fucking complicated.
While I’m waiting for Chase to show up, I pace a little, checking the clock, wishing the doorbell would ring already. When it finally does, my heart jumps into my throat.
Swallowing down my anxiety, I rush to the door. Chase is standing on my welcome mat, looking freshly showered.
He smiles. “Hey.”
“Hey,” I reply, stepping aside so he can come in.
He crosses the threshold, and for a beat, we just stand there in the living room, neither of us saying a word. His eyes scan my face like he’s memorizing it, and something in my chest tightens.
“You look good,” he says.
I pull in a breath. “Thanks. You too.”
Another awkward stretch of silence hangs between us. He shoves his hands into his pockets, shoulders tensing, like he’s trying to make himself smaller. I can’t tell if he’s nervous, frustrated, or just unsure what to do with himself.
“So,” I say, crossing my arms. “You wanted to talk.”
“Yeah, um…” He clears his throat. “I, uh…just found out I got a full ride to ExU next year.”
I blink. “As in, a scholarship?”
“Yeah, kinda,” he replies without elaborating.
Kinda?How can someonekindahave a scholarship? In the end, I don’t ask because it doesn’t really matter anyway. “That’s...wow.” I flash him a tight smile that I hope is convincing. “Congrats.”
“Thanks,” he says, shifting on his feet. “It’s a big deal. And it changes everything, you know? I can quit my job, and really get serious about school…”
“Right.” I nod slowly, suspicious of where this is going. “So, what, are you here to break up with me officially or something?”
He exhales sharply, running a hand through his damp hair. “If only it were that simple.”
His words land like stones in my stomach, but I keep my face neutral. “What does that mean?”
“Listen, I know you’ve always felt like I have a Boy Scout vibe, but…”
The air drains from my lungs.
Boy Scout vibe.
Jackson’s voice echoes in my head, clear as day.He’s got that Boy Scout vibe going on.That’s what he said about Chase right after I was kidnapped. Now the pieces are falling into place—Chase’s random beach party appearance. His “kinda” scholarship. Everything suddenly makes sense.
“Jackson,” I say. “He’s behind this.”
Chase’s eyes snap to mine. “I’m sorry?”
