Page 186 of A Dead Girl's Guide to Living
I approached as soft laughter washed over me. Dove was telling Jedd in detail about the ash heist from her uncle’s house, and he just looked at her with a slack expression.
For a moment, it felt normal—like this was just a group of friends swapping stories before we set off. Not two girls and their ghost, and the boy she once loved saying goodbye.
For the last time.
I sidled up beside Dove and slipped my hand into hers, giving it a squeeze before looking at Jedd. My eyes darted briefly to Liv, and I swallowed, my throat already burning.
Jedd’s eyes were clear as he cleared his throat and cracked his neck, looking between Dove and me, but his gaze did seem to search the space around us, as if looking for Liv.
“You know, I was happy to be part of this,” he said, his voice a little gruff. “I thought it was gonna be some crazy bullshit when you showed up on my doorstep. But… Jesus, it was also one of the most important things I’ll ever do in my life, and I think I’m only realizing that just now.”
I bit my lip as warmth spread through my chest.
“Thank you,” he murmured. “For bringing her here. For—for letting me be part of her last chapter. For giving her the chance to close things off the right way.”
Liv’s smile faltered, her whole body seeming to tremble as she twisted her hands in front of her and swallowed.
Jedd drew in a shaky breath and ran his hand through his hair. “Where is she?”
“Right beside you,” Dove said softly, her hold on my hand tightening slightly.
He closed his eyes for a moment, his chest rising and falling as if he were bracing himself for what came next. Then he turned to face her, palms lifting slightly, open and trembling.
“Liv,” I whispered, my throat thick.
Liv’s eyes were wide as she placed her palms over his, her lip trembling. “I’m here,” she whispered, even though he’d never hear her, eyes filled with tears that would never fall.
“She’s touching you,” Dove told Jedd gently. “Her palms are over yours.”
Jedd’s jaw tightened, his lips pressed thin as his shoulders quivered. “My skin feels cool there,” he said shakily. “The same way it’s felt a few times since you guys have been here.” He sniffed and cleared his throat. “I’m sorry. I’m so damn sorry.” His voice was hoarse as he spoke. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there to protect you. And I know you would say it’s macho bullshit—that you never needed protecting—but I’ll always wonder. I’ll always wonder if maybe, just maybe, if I had been with you—”
He broke off, drawing in a shaky breath.
“It’s always going to be something I’ll live with. No matter what anyone says, that’s just how the brain works. But I need you to know—thank you. Thank you for the light you brought to my life. For never making me feel like I had to be more than I was. I love you, Liv. I always have, and I always will.”
Liv’s hands shook as she gazed up at him, her pink hair glimmering in the morning sun.
“I never realized what I had with you,” she whispered. “Not really, at the time. But I’ve had a lot of time to think this last year, and I know now, Jedd—you’re one in a million.” She let out a heavy sigh. “Don’t close yourself off. Don’t let this—don’t let me—make you stop loving. Find it again. Hold on to it. The world is still waiting for you.”
Dove’s voice caught as she relayed the words, and Jedd’s eyes grew glassy as she spoke, one lone tear sliding down his cheek. I watched as Liv reached up to brush it away, but it remained as her thumb pressed over it.
Jedd let out a choked sound as he touched his cheek, as if he had felt the coolness of her contact.
“God, I really hope that’s her talking,” he choked out. “Because it sounds exactly like her.”
Liv let out a shaky laugh.
“She’s laughing,” Dove said, her voice cracking, a watery smile on her face.
“Of course she is,” Jedd said, his laugh half a sob, half a breath of air.
I blinked fast, trying to keep my own emotions in check, but everything inside me ached and swelled all at once—the rawness of his words and the tenderness of hers, the impossibility of such a strange and sacred goodbye.
Silence fell between us all, but it wasn’t empty. It was filled with everything unsaid yet spoken all at once, like we were all too afraid to take that final step.
Jedd suddenly stepped back, running both his hands over his face. “You guys should go,” he said levelly. “You have a lot more ahead of you today.”
Dove and I both nodded, not trusting our voices, and Liv looked down at her now-lonely palms, bringing them back to her sides before looking at Jedd, and then at us.
