Page 189 of A Dead Girl's Guide to Living
“My name is Ellis Langley,” I said, my voice thin but steady enough. “I’m… I’m the person who got Liv’s heart.”
A beat of silence followed, a stillness so complete it felt as if even the trees had stopped moving in the wind. Rachel’s lips parted, her eyes widening with shock, but no words came. Liv’s presence behind me sharpened, the very air going taut. For the first time since stepping onto the porch, I wasn’t thinking about myself.
I was thinking about the woman in front of me. The one who had lived every day of the past year carrying the weight of what I now held inside me. And I was both humbled and devastated all at once.
Rachel usheredus inside before we could think too hard about what was happening or what came next. My legs carried me on instinct, but my chest felt tight and my heart hammered, as if it wanted to leap out and run down the street to evade the situation entirely. The door shut behind us with a muted click, and Rachel gestured vaguely toward the living room.
“Tea, coffee?” she asked, but she didn’t wait for an answer. Her voice wavered as she spoke, and then she was gone, disappearing toward what I assumed was the kitchen.
Liv hovered in the doorway of the living room, twisting her hands as her eyes darted everywhere.
“Nothing’s changed,” she whispered with a breathy laugh as she twirled once, her pink hair catching the light that spilled in from the bay windows.
Her voice was soft, almost reverent, and she looked like an adult walking back into their childhood bedroom—frozen in time from the moment they had left.
The smell of incense wrapped around me, something floral mixed with sandalwood, so much like Dove’s shop. My eyes caught on the overflowing bookshelves, the faded rug, and the small table where a stack of tarot cards balanced precariously, already being inspected by Dove.
A cluster of wind chimes hung too close together on the wall, their beads clicking faintly in the cross-draft from the open window.
Dove smiled faintly as she looked around, running her hand across the green velvet couch before gently lowering herself onto it, looking perfectly at ease among the tidy chaos and incense. I gingerly walked over, settling beside her just as Rachel returned, carrying a tray with mismatched mugs that held the aroma of coffee and a small plate of biscuits.
“Sorry about the state of me,” Rachel said, her voice a little flustered. “I was in the sunroom working. The clay gets everywhere and can be a right pain to get off.”
“It’s totally fine,” Dove said immediately, her voice warm and reassuring. “We should be the ones apologizing, just showing up like this.”
Rachel nodded once and lowered herself into a faded yellow armchair across from us, her shoulders hunched forward, her hands gripping her knees. Her eyes—light blue, faintly ringed red—blinked quickly as they settled on me.
“So…” she said, her voice rougher now. “You have my Liv’s heart?”
Her words cut through the fight-or-flight rush I was experiencing, blunt and trembling all at once, and my tongue felt stuck to the roof of my mouth as I forced myself to nod.
“Yes,” I said, my voice coming out thinner than I wanted. “It happened really quickly. I—I was dying. Like, really dying. All hope was lost, truly. And then… then we got the call. They—they had a heart for me. Liv’s.”
I watched as Rachel swallowed, her hand lifting automatically to the gold pendant around her neck. She clutched it tightly.
“It’s amazing,” she murmured, her eyes shining as she spoke. “You don’t really think in the moment… well, you don’t really want to think at all. And then you realize how many people are alive… because… because of one choice.” Rachel’s voice cracked. “Because of her.”
I lowered my eyes to the coffee mug as she swiped a Kleenex from beside her, dabbing at her eyes.
“I was sick most of my life,” I told her quietly. “I had leukemia as a small child, and then it came back for round two. Apparently once wasn’t enough. The treatments… they saved me, but they were aggressive, and my heart… my heart just couldn’t handle it. Eventually, it failed.” My throat felt tight, and Dove pressed her hand to my lower back. I glanced up from my mug to Liv, who stood behind her mother’s chair now. “She saved me,” I told Rachel, my gaze flicking back to her. “Your daughter saved me.”
Rachel shook her head slowly, as though she were trying to process something so large and incomprehensible.
“You’ve been through so much for someone so young,” she whispered. “But you’re obviously a strong girl. Liv would be so proud. So proud that someone so strong has her heart. She was strong too. Strong-willed, stubborn, never let anything beat her.” She gave me a watery smile before clearing her throat and looking to Dove. “And this is your friend?”
I glanced at Dove, and she grinned as her brown eyes caught mine. My heart fluttered.
Rachel laughed softly, and we both looked to her.
“Maybe more than a friend… but you two clearly haven’t had that conversation yet.”
Liv snorted loudly and rolled her eyes. “She’ssonosy.”
Heat crawled up my neck, and I ducked my head as Dove chuckled beside me.
“I own a tarot shop in Chicago,” she explained honestly. “Ellis wandered in one day and… well, it’s been an adventure ever since.”
Something flashed in Rachel’s eyes, but the spark vanished as quickly as it had come. She picked up her coffee and took a small sip. “You’re the first recipient I’ve heard from… but Ithought all that stuff was kept private. Anonymous. How did you find me?”
