Page 66 of A Dead Girl's Guide to Living
A sound came out of her that I hadn’t expected, a laugh. Oneloudlaugh. It was sharp, quick, and kind of warm. It hit me square in the chest before I could shield myself.
She shook her head and took another mouthful, larger this time, and her eyes fluttered closed for a second, as if she were savoring it the way someone starving might.
The hum of midmorning traffic rolled by without much notice, but I caught sight of Liv’s pink hair still in the back seat of the Mustang and frowned. I swallowed my mouthful and nudged Ellis’s arm.
“She’s being too quiet today,” I murmured. “I don’t like it. Something’s up.”
“Yeah, something’s up,” Ellis grumbled, casting her own glance toward the car. “She dragged us on this road trip, harassed me all night while I reworked the schedule, and now she won’t even get out of the car to see the placesshepicked.”
“Hello?”
A voice pulled our attention away from the Mustang, and we both turned to see a woman approaching. She looked to be in her late thirties, red hair pulled back into a ponytail, gray eyes steady. Her hand rested on the shoulder of a young girl currently hiding behind her legs.
“Ellis Langley?”
Ellis blinked and straightened, glancing at me briefly, as if I might have some clue who this woman was.
“Um... yeah?” Ellis replied, her voice tentative.
“Hi,” the woman said, offering a nervous smile. “My name’s Claire. This is my daughter, Emilia. We... we follow your videos online. We’re huge fans. Just wanted to say hello.”
It was like the words flipped a switch in Ellis’s brain. Her spine straightened, as though pulled by invisible strings, and her expression softened. Performer mode was activated.
I watched with avid fascination.
“Oh,” Ellis said, her voice suddenly softer, warmer. “Hi. It’s nice to meet you both.”
The young girl peeked out a little more now, eyes wide beneath a brightly colored headscarf. I guessed she was around six, but what the hell did I know? She was tiny. Her face looked thin, her cheeks just a bit too hollow.
“She’s a little shy,” Claire said with a laugh, “but she does love you. Um, she has leukemia. We... we watched your videos during chemo. She loved the one where you tried to make hospital food look gourmet. You remember that one, Em?”
I saw Ellis’s expression falter then as she looked back at Emilia, lips parted, eyes blinking a little too fast.
“The way your videos made her laugh,” Claire continued, smiling a watery smile. “She, uh... well, we just found out the cancer has spread to her brain and, uh...” She cleared her throat. “Well, it’s not good. But your videos, they brought her a lot ofjoy. And those products you recommended... the cooling cap and the plush pillow with the armhole, they helped her so much.”
Ellis was nodding, but to me, she looked frozen. Her animated smile had started to look robotic, her eyes dropping again to Emilia, who had stepped out more fully from behind her mother’s legs.
“Could we get a picture?” Claire asked hopefully, holding out her phone. “Just for Emilia.”
“Of course,” Ellis breathed, nodding a little too fast. “Uh, Dove, could you—?”
“Yeah!” I said quickly, setting my custard cup on the ledge and taking Ellis’s from her, placing it beside mine. Claire handed me her phone with a grateful smile.
She guided Emilia to stand between them, a hand resting gently on her daughter’s shoulder as they all began to smile. I snapped a few shots. In one moment, Emilia reached up and grabbed Ellis’s hand, and I watched as Ellis froze, her eyes dropping to the tiny fingers wrapped around hers.
And the expression on her face as she looked back at the camera... I didn’t take the shot.
Something in her had cracked.
Broken.
Her mouth trembled, her eyes watered, and then her expression shifted. She offered that familiar, fabricated smile again. The one that hid more than she ever let on.
“Got a few,” I called out, my voice tight. I cleared my throat as I handed the phone back to Claire.
She looked at Ellis again. “Thank you, so much, for sharing your story with the world. You’re making a difference, Ellis. You... you give people hope, even when there isn’t... isn’t much hope left.” Claire smiled and swallowed hard. “It was lovely meeting you. Thank you for the picture.”
Claire turned and walked away with Emilia, and Ellis watched them go, her expression unreadable as she tracked the small girl ambling alongside her mother. Without a word, she picked up her custard cup and dumped it in the bin, then headed back to the car.
