Page 182 of A Dead Girl's Guide to Living
Tears burned behind my eyes, and I thumbed the rim of the cup, hot steam brushing my skin.
“You can’t just leave me.”
Her heavy sigh filled my ears, and her bangles tinkled as she moved, taking my hand and squeezing it. I looked up to meet her eyes.
“We’re never ready for loss like that, Dovey. Losing the people we love, it’s not something you can warm up for or prepare for. It always feels sudden, catching you unaware, as if it truly happened all at once.” She smiled gently at me. “Death doesn’t mean erasure, Dovey. It’s just a brightly colored door the people we love walk through. We think they’re gone, butthey’re not. They’re just on another adventure. One we aren’t part of yet.”
I shook my head and couldn’t stop the sob that clawed its way out. “I just want you. I want to adventure together.”
“You’ll always have me, Dove,” Margaret murmured. “You’ll feel me in the cards or every time you light incense. You may not have the physical me, but you’ll have the echoes I leave behind, the imprints of my soul that press into yours. They never leave. Echoes don’t fade, Dovey. Not when you keep calling.”
I hadn’t believed her back then, too wrapped up in my own despair at losing her to truly absorb her words. I understood them more now—the gravity she had woven into them, words meant for me to remember and hold onto. With the fireworks sitting beside me, her words landed differently. They felt truer now than they ever had before.
The truck turned down toward the marina, jolting me back to just how far we had driven. I sucked in a breath and pressed my palms into my thighs.
“You okay?” Ellis whispered beside me, her hand inching toward mine.
I nodded, though my voice came out rough when I spoke. “Just finishing up yet another Margaret adventure.”
Ellis smiled gently and laced her fingers through mine, giving a soft squeeze. No further questions, no pressure to talk about my feelings. Just presence—something to lean into.
And I did.
The marina came into view as Jedd navigated his truck and boat down the narrow road. Rows of masts rocked against the late-afternoon sky, gulls circling and crying like gossipers with too much tea to spill and not enough people to hear it.
“Okay,” Jedd murmured as he maneuvered the truck into a spot near the dock, his jaw tight with concentration as he backedthe trailer in. He looked as if he were holding his breath, and Liv watched him with impressed eyes. When the boat finally rested on the slip, he exhaled and muttered a quiet “Perfect” under his breath.
“What a show-off,” Liv teased, glancing back at us with a wink. “He’s so hot.”
Ellis let out a soft snort, and I laughed despite the growing ache in my stomach.
We climbed out and stretched our stiff limbs, the salt wind hitting us in full force. I stared at the ocean spread wide ahead of us, blue stretching on forever as sunlight shimmered and danced across its surface.
Jedd brushed his hands against his sweatpants as he hopped out. “Let me just finish tying it off, and then we can load up.”
I nodded and stood beside Ellis, the small box cradled in my arms. She glanced at it and then at me before her arm slid around my back and rested there, offering her silent support.
I sighed as the wind tugged at my shirt.
“This is the ending I didn’t want, even though it’s the one she asked for.”
Ellis smiled softly and leaned her head against my shoulder. We stood together in silence, watching Jedd finish his work, Liv hovering behind him like an invisible supervisor.
“All right,” he called as he got to his feet, dusting off his hands. “Ready to board?”
I gripped the box tighter and swallowed. “Ready.”
We moved onto the dock together, the boards creaking beneath our weight, and one by one we climbed onto the boat.
I hadn’t realizedI was holding my breath and clutching the box like a lifeline until the boat nosed past the breakwater and the marina slipped away behind us. Jedd kept the bow steady, his shoulders set in a firm line as he steered us into open water. Liv sat beside him, gazing at him with a wistful smile before turning to look out into the dusky sky and endless sea.
I followed her gaze and admired the horizon, spread around us like melted sherbet, the sky bruising into purple higher up, as if someone had painted the scene and smudged the edge of day into night with a thumb.
It was beautiful.
Margaret would have loved it.
Salt bit at my lips and cool air whipped around me as a few gulls circled the boat, squawking loudly before wheeling back toward the marina.
