Page 194 of A Dead Girl's Guide to Living
But my gaze snagged on the background.
Unmistakably in the back was Margaret, holding a baby in her arms—a baby with a mop of dark hair and fat cheeks. My breath caught, because beside my grandmother stood mymother, holding a phone and dressed in a pantsuit, looking away as she spoke.
“I’m in this picture,” I breathed, pointing. “I’m literally a newborn. That’smymom.”
“What?”
Liv rushed over as Ellis leaned closer, and even Rachel bent down to see where I was pointing.
“Get out—no freaking way,” Liv said, breathless. “Man, you had a lot of hair for someone fresh out of the womb.”
“I know,” I said with a laugh. “Margaret loved that about me.”
Ellis suddenly stilled beside me, her body going rigid. She lifted a shaking hand, her finger pressing to another corner of the frame.
“That’s my mom.”
A young woman with her hair tied half up stood with a pale blue stroller. Beside her, a small boy peered curiously inside, rising on his tiptoes.
My heart thundered.
Ellis’s voice cracked as she whispered, “Oh my God, that’s Thomas. That—Mom still has that exact stroller in the attic. Which means… that’s me in there.”
The room fell silent.
The photo trembled in my hands as I stared down at it. At Rachel. At Margaret. At the baby version of me. At Ellis in her stroller, half obscured by her brother. At the bump that was Liv. All of us in the same place at the same time, with no idea who the others were. Our parents had no inkling how our paths would one day cross.
I gazed at Rachel, at the baby inside her who would one day die so the baby in the stroller could live.
Liv swayed on her feet, her mouth open as she gasped, “You mean… we were already…”
I looked at Ellis, then at Liv, then at Rachel, whose eyes were wet and face worn with shock.
“We were always meant to come together,” Ellis whispered.
Ellis stoodbeside me and faced Liv with tear-filled eyes, and both regarded each other in a way I’d never be able to put into words. It was like the final closing of a loop, a lightbulb moment after hours of endless questioning, and then the pure acceptance that everything had well and truly been out of their hands.
“Well, shit, Langley,” Liv murmured, tugging at a lock of her pink hair. “Who would havethunk.”
Ellis laughed and wiped her eyes. “I feel like all I’ve done is cry the last few days.”
“Well, at least you can,” Liv muttered. “I’m stuck making awful, gawking noises. And I’m actually a really cute crier too. Like, I don’t look bad when I cry, so you guys missed out on that.”
I got to my feet, and Rachel straightened fully, the photograph clutched firmly in her hands as she looked down at it, her expression unreadable.
“You know how I feel,” Liv murmured. “We’ve already done this at Jedd’s. But you know it’s not just words for me, okay? You didn’t steal my life. Our lives were intertwined before I was even born. Remember thirty years, Ellis, and probably more. Don’t forget that. And don’t spend them apologizing for wanting more either. Just spend them, okay?”
Ellis’s laugh was wet with tears as she nodded. “I will. I promise.”
“Dove, Dove, Dove,” Liv said with a heavy sigh. “The calming anchor in all this chaos. You helped pull me out of whateverafterlife holding cell I was in, and you let me tell my story. You didn’t push. You were patient and thoughtful. Don’t second-guess your abilities and your gifts just because they don’t present like Margaret’s did.” Liv frowned. “Don’t just pretend you’re some shop girl who knows all the meanings by heart. You’re more, and you know it. Presence over performance, remember?”
I nodded once, my throat tight.
“You’re not Margaret,” Liv said softly. “But you’re also notnotMargaret, if that makes sense.”
“It does,” I told her, sucking back tears and nodding. “It does.”
Liv gave a small nod and turned back to her mother, a fond smile on her lips.
