Page 59 of A Dead Girl's Guide to Living
She was theatrically infuriating, and she had the nerve to roll her eyes at Liv of all people.
“Look,” I began calmly, feeling my own petty attitude rising, “while you shake it off, can you, like, shake upward and flick the rest of her onto the wind?”
She stared at me in scandalized silence. Liv’s eyes widened and she fought a grin, clapping a hand over her mouth. Ellis gave me one last withering look before turning on her heel and storming back to the car.
“I’m going to go shower,”Ellis announced just as she finished tipping the last shards of glass from the broken mirror into the bin.
They were the first words she had spoken to me since we arrived back, and they would likely be the only ones now.
Clutching her clothes and shower shoes to her chest, she walked with purpose toward the bathroom. I nodded and returned to my iPad, maintaining my sprawl across the bed as I dragged my drawing pencil across the screen, working on a draft for the Ten of Swords card. It was coming along perfectly—all dark and moody—and I eyed the figure on the ground with ten swords plunged into his back.
It felt a little too on the nose for this trip, if I was being honest.
My phone dinged, and I glanced down to see a text from Ida.
Ida [6:45 p.m.]
Hey lovey. Just letting you know the shop is still standing. We had a good day of sales and only one request for a reading. Told the customers that asked after you that you were on a soul-searching sabbatical LOL. Hope you’re having fun, kid. You deserve it. Text if you need anything.
—Ida
Relief settled in my chest. I texted back a quick thank-you. I would be lost without her. I couldn’t wait to tell her about the stolen ashes. She would lose her mind. Should I pre-warn her? Give her the option to fly to L.A. to scatter them with me?
“You’re a good drawer,” Liv said suddenly, now beside me on the bed, eyeing the image on the iPad. “And I’m not saying that just because I’m dead and have to be nice—because I don’t—but you’re actually good.”
Surprise filled me. I gaped at her for a moment.
“Um, thanks?”
A moment of silence perched between us as I set my phone on the nightstand. My eyes caught on the plastic container Ellis had left there earlier, a small pill organizer labeled Sunday through Saturday, each day with an A.M. and P.M. compartment. Today’s A.M. section was already empty.
“Her meds,” Liv said with a sigh, and I glanced at her. “She has to take them at the same time every day.”
I nodded slowly, the weight of that little container, and what it meant, suddenly pressing down on me.
“Are they all for the transplant?” I asked.
Liv nodded. “Pretty much. Rejection prevention, infection prevention, blood pressure, kidney protection, and then something for the side effects all those cause. Her stomach’s wrecked from them half the time. Listen, if she ever says she needs to go to the toilet, you goddamn find her one fast, you got it?”
My eyes widened at the fierceness in Liv’s voice, like she actually cared. She turned to look at me, her expression softer than usual. Less smirk. Something more... knowing.
“Ellis is messed up, my friend,” Liv said with a shrug. “On a whole other level. And it’s not her fault. She’s been living her whole life against the clock, and now she lives with the fear of missing a dose, but also hating that every dose is just another reminder that she’s still living on the edge.”
I swallowed hard and looked back down at the Ten of Swords.
“I think she likes you,” Liv said suddenly, that soft expression vanishing, replaced by her favorite shit-stirring smirk. “You’re into girls, right? You seem the type. Well, so is Ellis. You wanna know how I know she likes you?”
“She doesn’tlikeme, Liv,” I said, trying to ignore the fluttering in my stomach. Ellis was into women? She didn’t… shedidn’t give off the… no. That was stereotyping, and I mentally slapped myself. Bad Dove.
“Everyone always talks about her illness. All. The. Time,” Liv muttered, her voice low and grim. “They ask how she feels before they even say hello. The girl can’t even sneeze without her mother launching into hospital stories. She’s tired. Worn out. But the problem is she let it become her entire personality, and now she’s lost as fuck. But that’s why she likes you.”
I frowned. “Because I’m rude and haven’t asked how she’s feeling?”
“Because you haven’t asked,” Liv said in a duh tone. “I’ve dropped hints about her, and you know about the heart stuff, but you haven’t tried to start a conversation about it. You don’t treat her like she’s breakable.”
I blinked at her. “Liv, that’s not some profound act of kindness on my part. I say nothing because I’m bad with that kind of stuff. I have no idea what to say to her.”
“Exactly,” Liv groaned, sitting up straighter. “You just let her be. You’re the first person I’ve seen her interact with who she hasn’t led with her illness. You should’ve seen this date I watched her go on, complete trainwreck. It was the same day she met you, actually. Total fail.”
