Page 86 of My Brother's Enemy
“What are you doing, Tyler?” I whispered, hanging my head. “I’m not worth this.”
“Bullshit.”
“I’m not. You don’t get it…” I trailed off. He kinda did. And how did he? “I’mnotworth this.”
He took a step closer, tilting his head to the side. “Maybe you are to me.”
“No.” I shook my head, falling back a few steps, and when he followed, I held up my hand to stop him. “Everyone leaves. I’m not being dramatic when I say this. Everyonehasleft. My brothers. My father. We had no relatives that I knew about. I’ve tried. I really have. I’ve dated, but after a year or two, they learn. There’s something inherently wrong with me. They figure it out, whatever it is, and they realize I’m not worth it. No one stays. The only ones who do are the ones I keep at a distance, the ones I don’t let in. I don’t allow them to get close enough to find out what’s wrong with me. Because I know the second I let them in, they’ll see it and they’ll go. You’ll see it too. I am doing you a favor right now.”
He scoffed. “This is the biggest pity party I’ve ever seen in my life. That’s what you’re doing.”
I felt slapped in the face.
He thought he knew better, but he’d learn.Why can’t he see that?
I shook my head. “I’m going to ruin your life. I’m telling you, and you don’t believe me.” This was emotional torture in ways I couldn’t explain. I said it again. “I’m not worth this. Throw me under the bus for your career. At least I’m of some use that way.”
Had this been worth it for me?
To touch him. Feel him?
I looked at him, really looked at him, and it hurt. He was everything I wanted, and he was standing in front of me, trying to fight for me, but I knew I would lose him. I believed that with every fiber of my being. So. Was he worth it?
The answer hit me hard. It was the same reason I had let myself fall in the first place.
Yes. Being loved by Tyler, just for one night, two, or however long it would’ve lasted, that would’ve been everything. ButIwasn’t. He couldn’t see it now, but he would eventually.
I had to make that decision for him instead.
He softened and stepped toward me, his hands out.
I shook my head. “Don’t do this. Trust me. You will regret it later on, and it’ll be too late by then. I’ll have ruined you. Toss me aside now. Please.”
His hands cupped my face. “Oh, baby girl,” he said tenderly.
I winced. “Don’t.”
He leaned his forehead against mine. “I’m asking for an interview right now. That’s it. I will give you the universe, if that’s what you want, but I know that’s too much for you to believe. It’ll spook you, so let me do this. Do the interview with me. You are worth burning down the world. Give me that pleasure. Do it for Skylar. Do it for me.”
Tears streamed down my face. “Don’t, Tyler.”
“I’m going to do the interview with Martine. I’m going to tell her everything. It’ll come out no matter what. This way, we’re telling it your way. My way. Let’s do it together.” He found my hand and laced our fingers. “Let’s burn your brothers’ worlds down.”
51
RAIN
Iworried I was going to vomit, but I did it. Somehow, I made it through that interview.
I didn’t put all of my family’s business out there. I just couldn’t, so I was vague about parts of it. I didn’t give examples of the things Daniel used to say. I just said Dane and I didn’t have a relationship growing up. As for my dad, I was honest. Everything I told Kashvi and Tyler, I told Martine.
She asked at the end if I could summarize what it was like growing up with my dad, and my answer was, “It was lonely. Because he refused to speak to me directly, I did not grow up with a father. I grew up in someone else’s home, and while they were kind enough to allow me to eat their food and know that I was physically safe under their roof, I do not know what it is like to have a father or a mother. When I lost her, I lost him. Though, to be honest, I don’t have memories of my dad before my mother passed either, so it might’ve just been that I lost my only loving parent when my mom died.”
Martine seemed a bit stunned, blinking a few times before she moved on to more questions. The majority of the interviewwas about the high school rivalry, which had Martine salivating. There was a hungry look in her eyes.
After the interview, I felt dazed. Had I really said all of that?
“Some people are going to be sympathetic,” she told me. “Some people aren’t. These are hockey fans. They’re mean. Of course most people, if they really put themselves in your shoes, would cringe at the thought of growing up the way you did. Being fed and sheltered is great, but kids need a lot more than that.”
