Page 100 of My Brother's Enemy
RAIN
Iwas two drinks in by the end of the second period, and the Grays weren’t looking the best. First line was all over the place. There was no unity. Sunny passed where no one was waiting. Jesse went the wrong way half the time. Tyler looked as if he needed to win the game by himself. Fortunately, their defensemen were playing well. If they hadn’t, the Grays would’ve been trailing by more than two goals.
Meester was in the net, and after the second one got through, he looked ready to break his stick in half. Bruge skated over and seemed to talk him down.
I was thankful again that the television was muted. Based on the subtitles, the announcers were talking over each other, complaining about how the Grays were a different team tonight.
I frowned. Was this because of me? No… I wasn’t that important. I rolled my eyes at myself, slipping away to use the bathroom. I asked the server for a third martini on the way and let him know I was coming back.
He gave me a bright smile, as he had the whole night.
I didn’t want to look in the mirror as I washed my hands. But I did, forcing myself.
God. My lips parted.
Shewas so sad.
She frowned back at me, and there was such pain in her eyes.
Me.
That was me.
I looked miserable.
I closed my eyes, willing the tears away, and when I looked again, I seemed more my usual. But even so, I winced at the permanent wall I lived behind.
I was so tired of being alone.
But that’s how it’s always going to be, because that’s always how it’s been,a voice whispered in the back of my mind. I bent my head, tearing my gaze away from the mirror. I didn’t want to look at her. I didn’t want to see the destruction I had allowed to reign over me throughout my life.
I’d left the house when I was eighteen, and my brothers were still affecting me.Still.
Enough.
It was enough.
Maybe there was something wrong with me, but what if there wasn’t? What if I just sought out people who were going to leave me in the end because that’s what I believed would happen?
The door opened, and a girl teetered inside on her heels. “Whoopsie daisies!” She laughed as she almost fell backwards. “That door moved a lot easier than I thought it was going to. Either that or I gotta work on my tolerance for those pink martinis.” She laughed again, coming to stand next to me and fluffing her hair. “You okay, darling?” She touched my arm.
It was the softness in her voice, and I crumbled. “No.”
“Oh, darling.” Her voice dropped. “You want a hug?”
I shook my head, forcing a smile. “No. I’m good. But thank you.”
“Okay. Well, I’m here if you need me.” She indicated the bathroom stall before laughing to herself. “I mean, notherehere. But here in the bar. I’ll be at the bar. Look for my big poof hair. You just walk over and give me a nod, and I’ll be hugging you before you know it. Got it?”
“Got it.” The knot lessened in my throat. “And thanks.”
She gave me another smile as I left and returned to my booth. Almost as soon as I sat down, Peter brought over my martini. “I didn’t want you to worry about an unattended drink, so I waited until you came back,” he explained. “Here you go.”
“Thank you.”
“Anytime. I’ll grab you another water.”
He moved away, and that’s when Mal Benoit slipped into the seat across from me.
