Page 62 of Freeing Hawk
“Hawk.” Nikau greeted me. “I don’t know if I should stay or go.”
“Haere ra.” Angel said.
“And you, brother.” Nikau told him. “Hawk.”
I returned his greeting with a curt nod and he climbed behind the wheels of his sportscar. Alone with Angel, all my words died in my throat. Aside from the fact he looked too damn good, I couldn’t figure out the right thing to say to him.
“Why are you here?”
“Its good to see you.”
Angel sucked his teeth and turned for the front door.
“Can we talk?”
“You want to talk?” Angel snapped, facing me. “Now? How long has it been, Sasha?”
I hung my head. “I didn’t handle that well.”
“I was in love with you, Sasha!” He snapped. “Do you get that? It would have been better if you’d told me you didn’t feel the same. Better if you’d have shut me down outright, rather than pretend.”
“Was?”
“What do you want from me?” He asked.
“You thought I was pretending?”
“For the love of God, Sasha!”
“Could we not have this talk here?”
Angel frowned but led me inside. I removed his shoes and walked through to the kitchen where he pulled water from the fridge. He slid a bottle across the counter toward me. I caught it but didn’t pick it up.
“I came here knowing this wouldn’t be easy.” I began. “What I did, the way I acted—there’s no excuse for it. Please, forgive me.”
“You broke my heart, Hawk.”
“I know. I broke my own heart too. But there were so many things happening.” I bowed my head and gripped the island to keep myself standing. “I’ve decided to foster Keegan. His parents stopped showing up to the hearings and the judge terminated their rights.”
“That has nothing to do with me.” Angel’s voice cracked. “What you do or don’t do no longer affects me, but congratulations.”
“Angel, please.”
“What do you want me to say?”
“That you forgive me?” I asked. “That’s not too much to ask is it?”
“You need to go.”
“Angel, please.” “I want you.”
“You have a funny way of showing it.” Angel rubbed his eyes. “You take off. Not a word for weeks. Then you pop up again telling me you’re fostering a kid and I’m supposed to do what? What exactly were you expecting?”
“I know you didn’t sign up for that and—”
“You thought I wouldn’t want you because you want to help this kid?” Angel asked. “Is that what you really think of me?”
I hung my head. “I was scared.”
