Page 45 of Zero
Pulling my phone off the charge, I opened a new message to Nitro. I typed one out, paused then deleted it. The time was late. Her flight must have been long, and she should probably be sleeping. Frustrated, I put the phone back on the bedside table and sit up to look around.
The moonlight streamed in through the window and as I sat there, watching the shadows the moon and tree branches casted around the space, I realized I missed Rei.
Irritated, I pushed my feet out of bed and wandered down the stairs. Dude was asleep on the sofa. I tried tip toeing by, but he sat up.
“I thought I was being quiet.” I told him coyly.
“Soldier—light sleeper.” He rubbed his eyes and followed me into the kitchen. “Aside from the obvious, what’s on your mind?”
“I can’t talk about it.”
“You’re worried about you and Zero.” Dude walked over to the fridge and pulled out a couple beers.
“He told you.”
Dude pried the lid off one and slid it in front of me with a finger. “He didn’t have to.” He opened his and took a long drink. “I’ve known Zero for quite a few years. A good soldier, even better man. But he can’t hide his emotions to save his life.”
“You like him, then?”
Dude nodded. “Yeah. What’s bothering you about this whole thing?”
“I don’t think I’m cut out for relationships.” I admitted after a small sip. “I mean, I’m way too independent. I say things without thinking—especially when I’m afraid or nervous or frustrated.”
“In other words, you’re a human being.” Dude pointed out.
“I…” I exhaled and tried again. “I was going to say I’m a bitch.”
“Bailey, first of all, there’s no such thing as too independent.” Dude told me. “Zero wouldn’t do well with a wallflower.”
I hung my head.
“I thought you were going to say it’s because of the distance between Jamaica and Germany.” Dude pointed out.
“That too.”
“Look, there is no saying what’s between you and Zero must last beyond a vacation fling.” Dude set his bottle on the counter and positioned his body to face me. “I mean, that sort of thing happens all the time. But if the feelings are a little more serious, it really comes down to how strong they are and how mutual.”
I sighed. “This is too complicated.”
“No.” Dude lifted the bottle. “It really isn’t. As humans we complicate things. We put our issues on love and weighs it down until it’s suffocating.” He lifted his left hand where he was missing fingers. “I thought this made me less than. Hell, I didn’t think any woman could be satisfied with me and they’d always look at me with pity.”
“That’s a dumb thing to think.” I told him. “A real woman wouldn’t care.”
Dude smiled. “Precisely. Cheyenne is that kind of woman.”
I smiled. The love in his voice took me by surprise. This large man, capable of some very dangerous things spoke about his woman as if she was a queen. “You love her.”
“Desperately.”
“Wow. I’m happy for you.”
“Me too.” Dude offered a one shoulder shrug. “What I’m trying to say is, maybe we should stop putting our darkness on love. Out of all the horrible things in the world, out of all the harsh and terrible things we are capable of, the only thing that means much of anything is—”
“Love.”
Dude nodded. “Precisely. If you and Zero are meant to be, the both of you will find a way. Life is stressful enough.”
“Are you saying I should tell him how I feel?”
