Page 7 of A Touch of Frost
I hung my head again.
“She was in trouble—they were all against her for defending herself.” Black Widow walked back toward me. “And instead of you standing up for her, standing by her side—you left her.”
“I’m—”
“Don’t you dare say you’re sorry.” Black Widow warned.
She rested her hands on her hips and when I looked up at her, it was almost as if she was trying to find the rest of the words she’d been saving to lay on me.
“Do you think she got up at five in the morning to work out every day because it was fun?” Black Widow demanded. “She never wanted to disappoint you. And soon that turned into something else—something which made—you were going to be the first man she ever—”
“She told you that?”
“She never once considered giving herself to any of the other guys she dated.” Black Widow confided. “She never trusted any of them enough for that. But she trusted you—she asked me for ideas for lingerie, spent like three hours in a perfume shop trying to find the perfect scent—she wanted you like she never wanted another man. Frost was planning an entire relationship with you before you even asked her out. And she wouldn’t have done that. But you, Mozart, you made her believe that you could take a chance with her.”
“Damn. I didn’t know.”
“Of course not.” Black Widow snapped. “Because you were too busy running, too busy watching your own back. You were too busy trying to save your career and changing your mind.”
“There are things that you don’t understand.” I pushed. “Things you don’t know.”
“If I don’t know them then they aren’t important.” Black Widow frowned. “What’s important was that she loved you. She needed you and you just let them railroad her. Shereallyloved you. Wasn’t that enough? Maybe you knew how she felt and didn’t care or maybe you didn’t want to know. Maybe you asked her out because you were just being a disgusting little shit.”
“That’s not fair.”
“Either way.” Black Widow continued as if I’d said nothing. “I told her to be careful. That falling in love with you would only break her heart. But I suppose the heart wanted what it wanted.”
I had no words.
It wasn’t as though the feelings weren’t mutual. I felt something very strong for Frost, but how could I have given in to them? I was barely in the SEALs and she was a few years younger than I was. The logistics of that relationship would have been a nightmare. Not only that, back then, I cared what others thought and I didn’t think it was a good thing for our careers.
Yes, I’d asked her out. But the night we were supposed to go out on our first official date, the world was set on fire.
All I could do was run.
During the time away, I had a chance to think about everything, Within that time, all the excuses that would make me change my mind flooded my brain.
I was kind of a teacher to her. It would have been wrong.
My sense of duty had been entirely too strong.
I hadn’t meant to hurt her.
Then before I could have a proper conversation with her, there was that dust-up with her team.
“That was a long time ago.” I managed after clearing my throat. “We’ve both moved on.”
“You mean you’ve moved on.” Black Widow countered. “Must me nice having someone to go home to. Frost wouldn’t know what that feels like. How is that? Askin’ for a friend.”
“Frost and I wouldn’t have worked.”
“I hope that helps you sleep at nights, Mozart. I really hope it does because you’re happy and she’s MIA.” Black Widow tossed her hands up. “She’s wandering the world, alone, and hurt. So, tell me again how she’s moved on.”
She walked around me. I reached for her.
Black Widow yanked here arm away then used the same hand to shove me away from her.
“Boy!” She held up her right index finger as a warning. “You must have bumped your head.”
