Page 68 of Mase
She said it made her feel better, and that’s all I ever wanted, andlike an idiot, her words had given me hope, hope she might just be a better person.
“Do you have a condom?”
This snaps me out of my daze, and I rummage in my jacket pocket for my wallet. “Get yourself hard, then. You can have me tonight.”
She talks as if she’s a reward, and I guess this is, but for what, I’m unsure. She lifts the bedsheets and slides beneath them.
I slowly undress, willing my cock to harden. Ever since she cheated on me, it’s taken me longer and longer to get hard, and the more I think about it, the more difficult it becomes.
So, I’ve no choice but to do what I have to. My mind whirls, conjuring up images of the life I wish I had. A woman who appreciates me, someone of natural beauty, who wants me as much as I want them, not a calculated exchange in return for grandeur, making our love life seem sordid.
I pump my cock. The girl I’m with will beg me for my cock.
After another few pumps, I’m able to tear the condom open and slide it down my length. I climb onto the bed and position myself between her open legs.
“Condom, Mase.” She taps my shoulder. “Are you wearing a condom?”
“Yes,” I retort, pissed she’s spoiling my moment. I want to tell her I will always wear a condom, that I don’t trust her enough not to. I don’t want her pregnant as much as she doesn’t want to be because then I would be trapped, but I keep my mouth shut, knowing it will upset her.
“I don’t want a baby, that’s all,” she mumbles as I slide inside her. How she’s wet, I’ve no fucking clue. There’s been no preparation on my part, but a part of me doesn’t care.
She doesn’t want a baby with me is all she means.
I close my eyes as I pull my cock out, then slide back in, hating the way this exchange is happening. The girl I’m fucking will plead for me to not just fill her with my cum, but come in her too. She’ll fucking bathe in it.
My hand moves up toward her face with the intention of holding her in place for my lips to meet hers.
“Don’t touch my face, Mason. I’ve done my skincare tonight. You know this. Jesus,” she hisses. “You know I’ve been to the dermatologist this week. Did you forget already?”
I shake my head and try to get back in the moment.
“You always take too long to come,” she shrieks. “I’ve never had this with any other guy.” Her saying that out loud is like a blade, not only piercing me but also grinding as deeply as it possibly can, inflicting the most extreme pain possible. It’s cruel and unjust.
My mind wanders. My girl would only ever want me, to fuck me all the time, to long for me like her life depended on it.
“Can you hurry up! I need to be up early tomorrow; I’m going out for lunch.” Tara’s whine spears through me, causing me to deflate, and I grind my teeth on a frustrated growl, pull my cock out, get off the bed, and head toward the bathroom.
She probably thinks I came. But I didn’t. I can’t. Not when she doesn’t want me, and truthfully, I’m not sure I want her anymore either.
“Mason?” she calls out as I throw open the bathroom door.
“Yeah?” I drop the empty condom into the bin and glare down at my cock, not even a fucking twitch now.
“We’re not getting a divorce if that’s what you were discussing with Owen,” she snipes, and I drop my forehead against the mirrored wall.
What the hell are you doing, Mase?Your love for her has turned to loathing. She’s destroying you from the inside out.
“You don’t deserve me; you know that, right? But nobody else would have you!” she bellows from the bedroom, and I flinch.I know… I don’t deserve anyone at all.
The memory sends a wave of panic through me, and my heart flutters with anxiety. My hands grip the steering wheel tighter.
Fuck, I hate this feeling of being so totally powerless.
But worst of all, I hate the fact that memories assault me at random times. Especially when we’ve had such a good day.
“I’m sorry,” I say in a hushed tone as I glance down at Summer, and she searches my face. “If I hurt you, I mean.”
She pulls my cock from her mouth, and I miss her instantly. She sits up, and I feel her scan my face as I look toward the road until she rests one hand on my cheek and the other on my shoulder, then I give myself over to her warmth.
