Page 134 of Rare Blend
A CAUTIONARY TALE
“It was pretty hot,” I tell Ethan, as we’re lying in bed, staring at each other, our cheeks pressed into the pillows.
He mutters a laugh and takes a strand of my hair, twirling it between his fingers before tucking it behind my ear. “I should’ve punched him. At least once.”
“Nahh,” I sigh. “He’s not worth it.”
“What did you ever see in that guy?” He asks it with a slight laugh, but his eyes regard me tensely.
“He wasn’t always like that. He was…smooth, I guess is the right word. Smooth and I was lonely. I have a habit of trying to see the best in people and it leads to building them up in my head.”
A husky snort escapes him. “Bullshit. You saw the worst in me from day one.”
My hand reaches out and rubs over his cheek, brushing against his beard. “You’re the exception. Obviously.”
I start to pull my hand away, but he’s quicker and grabs it, yanking me to him.
“Hmmm,” he breathes into my neck. “You’re my exception, too.”
My throat tightens, a lump rising, and I bite my cheek to keep from crying.
It’s almost New Year’s Eve, and we haven’t discussed what we’re going to do. If we’re going to try long distance or…not try long distance. I’m not ready to let him go, but I don’t know if I’m ready to move here permanently when we’ve only been together for a short while. I was with Brandon for a whole year before we moved in together. I was cautious, making sure the timing was right, and it didn’t work out. I don’t know if my heart can survive the hurt of Ethan doing something to me like Brandon did. Not that I think he would cheat on me, but distance makes people act in ways they normally wouldn’t. How am I supposed to expect him to wait for me to figure out where I fit?
It’s like I’m being torn in two directions, my heart wants to stay but my brain wants to follow through with the plan, because I can’t possibly stay here for a guy, right? I can’t change everything, literally choosing to give up a great job and my old life for a guy I’ve been dating less than two months. That’s crazy, it’s the start of a cautionary tale.
He draws back gently and takes my face in his hand, peering at me intensely. The air feels thick, and I worry he’s going to tell me something bad. Something terrible. He’s never looked at me like this.
“Is everything okay?” I whisper.
“No,” he breathes. “It’s not okay.”
I suck in a sharp lungful of air. “What is it?” My voice is barely audible, almost as if I don’t want him to hear it.
His thumb glides slowly across my jaw, delicately, and it leaves me with a tingle running down my spine. “I’m in love with you.”
My heart soars, the words eager to tumble out. “I?—”
“Don’t.” He cuts me off before I can say it back. “I don’t want you to feel like you have to say it back. I’m not saying it topressure you or to make you stay. I’m saying it because I can’t let you leave without you knowing that I love you. That I’ve been in love with you for a while, maybe since you bent that cute little ass over and huffed at me, trying to find your insurance.”
I laugh, but it mixes with the moisture pooling in my eyes. A tear wells over and rolls down my cheek, and his thumb brushes it gently. We stay watching each other for minutes, maybe an hour.
“What are we going to do?” I ask, my voice low.
He smiles softly at me, but it’s a sad smile. “You’re going to leave and I’m going to stay, but it’s not the end.”
I roll my lips, not liking but not hating his answer. “What do you mean?”
“I’m not going to beg you to stay, as much as I want to. I think you need to go back and figure out if Seattle is where you want to be, if that job is the job you want to have. And if it’s not, you come back home.”
“And if it is?” My heart stills, waiting for his answer—worried for his answer.
“Then I’ll recommend Elle for CEO and I’ll go back to working in the finance department at the Woodinville location.”
My head is shaking before he can finish the sentence. “You can’t leave just for me. Your family is here, your whole life is here. And you didn’t even like working in Woodinville.”
“You’re my whole life. I can be apart from my family, but I can’t be apart from you. So whatever you decide, I’m there. If it’s here, great. If it’s Seattle, that’s great, too.”
I groan, pressing my head back into my pillow. “Why can’t you tell me what I want?”
