Page 85 of Rare Blend
He shrugs. “Well, yeah. I only stayed up all night watching it with you. I got invested. I have to know how it ends. Plus, I’m kind of fuzzy on some of the details, and I think it’s because we missed the first couple episodes.”
I must be staring at him with a weird expression because he says, “Why are you looking at me like that?”
“I’m surprised, that’s all.”
“Well, put it on. The popcorn is getting cold. And start on episode one.”
I fiddle with the remote as Ethan gets settled. I try to ignore how aware I am of his weight pressing down on the couch, or how his scent is so much stronger when it’s trapped inside this tiny cottage, or that I want nothing more than to crawl into his arms and let myself get completely lost in him.
As the beginning credits start, Ethan clears his throat. “So, did you accept the job?”
My pulse stills. I was going to tell him. I just didn’t know how to bring it up. I turn to him, trying to look relaxed. “Yeah. I did.”
He nods and his lips lift, looking content. “Good. Congratulations.”
His genuine happiness for me shouldn’t hurt my feelings, yet a corner of my heart cracks as I force a smile. “Thanks.”
In the weeks that follow, Ethan and I fall into the rhythm of an unofficial routine. With harvest over, Ethan’s schedule is much more relaxed and back to regular business hours. No more early mornings or late nights. His weekends aren’t as chaotic either.
In a matter of days, we complete the entire novela we started with. From there, Ethan makes me watchTop Gun, which I only pretend to hate. And then I make him watch some of my favorite Nora Ephron movies, starting withSleepless in Seattleand ending withWhen Harry Met Sally. I expected some protest, because most guys don’t enjoy sitting through chick flicks, but he happily watched and even got a little antsy with how long it took Sam and Annie to finally come face-to-face inSleepless in Seattle.
Sometimes we’re at my cottage and sometimes we’re at his. I prefer his, because Goose joins us and he’s really good at keeping my feet warm. It started slowly, a night here, a night there, then two in a row, and so on and so on. Now it’s nearly every day, and I’m not sure what that means.
Long gone is the grumpy man I met, though he does still have his moments, but never with me. No, with me, he’s different. He pays attention to my likes and dislikes, learning that the only candy I’ll eat is chocolate, that I can make one cup of coffee last an entire day, and that my feet are always cold, but I refuse to wear socks. I learn about him, too. I find out about his aversion to most vegetables and tease him about it constantly. He tells me about how he never planned to follow in his dad’s footsteps. That he worries about disappointing his family if he makes a bad decision that hurts the business. He talks about living in Woodinville, and about the house he was supposed to build withhis ex. That he’s relieved they didn’t get far in the process since he still hopes to build on the land someday. It reminds me of the conversation I had with Leanne about her dream of having all her children live nearby. I don’t bring it up to Ethan, though. I sense that sharing the house plans with me was a big enough step, and I don’t want to add any pressure.
We’ve grown a lot closer, but true to our agreement, we never cross the line. He stays on one side of the couch, and I stay on the other. We don’t touch. Ever. One time we almost grazed arms in the kitchen, but he leaped out of the way like I was a hot stove.
In some ways, this friendship feels a lot like voluntary torture. Because as much as I enjoy hanging out with him—in fact, he’s often the best part of my day—it’s not enough. I thought I had feelings for him when we had only kissed, but now that I know him, my feelings have grown from hesitant to undeniable. Ethan doesn’t seem to be suffering the way I am, though. Any feelings or interest he may have had are clearly dissolved.
“Do you have any plans for Thanksgiving?” Ethan asks.
I press pause onLove Is Blind. “Yes, I do.” I can’t contain my excitement. I meant to tell him earlier, but I got distracted after I dove into my next project for the second edition ofThe Vine.
His brows raise. “You seem awfully spirited over one of the more boring holidays we have.”
I give a mock exasperated sigh. “I’m not excited about the actual holiday, silly. I’m excited because my mom is coming. She hasn’t been home for the holidays in years.”
His head cocks, and his eyes narrow slightly. “Your mom hasn’t been home for the holidays in years? Who were you spending Thanksgiving and Christmas with? Because I know it wasn’t with your dad.”
The harshness in his voice catches me off guard. I decide to shrug it off to a stressful work day, because it feels like it’s coming out of nowhere.
“With Hillary or my ex, Brandon.” Saying Brandon’s name out loud leaves a sour taste in my mouth. “Are you mad or something?”
Ethan’s grip on his glass of water tightens. “What? No, I’m not mad. I’m just trying to understand how you’ve gone years without a family to spend the holidays with.”
This time his voice is much gentler, but his words hit all the same. Pity. He feels sorry for me.
“Not everyone has a giant family like yours.” My defenses are rising. “I’ve known Hillary’s family my entire life, so it wasn’t weird if I spent a holiday or two with them. And Brandon and I were together for four years. I don’t get where you’re going with this.”
He sighs, running a hand through his hair. “You’re right. I’m being a dick. I’m sorry, it was a stressful day, and I’m not myself.”
Our eyes lock, an awkward dissonance settling in the air. His reaction has me feeling off kilter, and I don’t like the small seed of doubt starting to take root in my gut. Rather than dwell on it, I try to dissolve the stilted atmosphere.
“Can you please be excited for me? It actually works out perfectly because my dad is going to spend it with Jenn’s family in Spokane, and they were nice enough to lend me their house for my mom and I to celebrate in.”
He smiles softly. “I am. I’m excited for you. I promise.”
Some of the tension eases, but his initial reaction continues to linger in my mind.
