Page 83 of Loving Violet
“That’s what I tell the kids. But they just think that I’m an old man trying to give them shit.”
I laugh at his words. “Totally understandable,” I say as I shake my head. At least I feel less tense.
Austin comes at lunch time and sits near me while he eats. When I can get a few minutes to take a break, we talk about his work. I know what Austin is trying to do. He wants to distract me and I am so grateful because I really needed this, him. Austin being here makes me feel at peace, feel loved. He hasn’t said the four-letter word, and neither have I, but I feel them with every action and every smile. I find that that’s okay by me. I do want to hear those words eventually, but his actions show me what I already know. When he is done with his lunch, he gives me a big kiss and a hug.
“I already took care of Megan. She won’t bother you again.”
“What did you do?” I ask him
“I just talked to her. Nothing else.”
“Okay.”
“See you at home, beautiful.”
Maybe Dr. Bennett will have some advice on how to handle this as I think about my therapy appointment later.
The anxiety from the stalker situation and Megan's cruel remarks weigh heavily on me. I feel like I'm constantly on edge, waiting for the next bad thing to happen. But I can't let this break me. I have to be strong for Adrian, for Austin, and for myself. We’ll get through this, one way or another.
At my appointment with Dr. Bennett, I pour out my worries. She listens patiently, her expression empathetic. “Violet, it’s natural to feel scared and hurt. But remember, you’re not alone in this. You have a strong support system in Austin, Josy, and Adrian. As for Megan, her words are a reflection of her insecurities, not your worth.”
“You’re right. But I can’t help but feel insecure. I know that I’ve worked a lot on learning to love myself, but her words brought back memories. Taylor was so cruel with his words, and when Megan said that, it brought back all those traumatic moments from my past.”
“It’s understandable. Recovering from mental abuse takes time. Anything can trigger a flashback to those moments. You need to learn how to separate what happened in the past from the present. Remember, words coming from people with bad intentions have no meaning. But they can trigger previous emotions from similar behaviors. Even people with good intentions can accidentally trigger those emotions and that’s okay. It’s all part of the process to rebuild how you think about those moments and learn to recreate your response toward a more positive outcome.”
Her words bring some comfort, but the fear and doubt linger. “I thought I was past all of that. I thought I was stronger.”
“You are strong, Violet. It’s important to acknowledge your progress. Look at where you are now compared to where you were. You’re in a healthy relationship, surrounded by people who care about you. You’re confronting your fears head-on. That takes incredible strength.”
I nod, absorbing her words. “I guess I didn’t realize how much progress I’ve made.”
“It’s easy to overlook our achievements, especially when faced with new challenges. But every step forward is progress, no matter how big or small. Even when you feel as if you are taking ten steps backward and only one step forward, you are making progress. When Megan’s words bring you down, remind yourself of how far you’ve come. Focus on the positive affirmations from those who love you. Don’t let the narcissism of others win.”
“I’ll try. It’s just…hard.”
“I know. But you’re not alone. Lean on your support system. Communicate with Austin about how you’re feeling. Talk with Josy. It’s okay to ask for help.”
I take a deep breath, feeling a bit lighter. “Thank you. I needed to hear that.”
“You’re welcome, Violet. Remember, healing is a journey, not a destination. It’s okay to have setbacks as long as you keep moving forward. And I’m always here when you need to talk. If I’m unavailable with another appointment, you are welcome to text me or send me an email, okay?”
“Okay, Dr. Bennett.”
I leave the session with Dr. Bennett’s words playing on a loop in my mind as I walk back to the coffee shop, each step grounding me in the present. I take a deep breath, feeling the crisp air fill my lungs, and remind myself just how far I’ve come. Three months ago, I arrived here shattered—my spirit barely a flicker and my self-esteem buried under years of emotional rubble.
But I’ve worked hard. Every step I’ve taken since has been about rebuilding, about reclaiming the pieces of myself that I thought were lost forever. It’s not easy. Some days, the weight of my past feels like it’ll drag me under, but I refuse to let it win.
I’m stronger now, and I keep telling myself that I can do this. That Iamworth it.
I won’t let my ex-husband’s voice or anyone else’s linger in my head, feeding me lies about my worth. Megan can roll her eyes and throw her subtle digs all she wants, but she doesn’t get to define me.
I am not defined by my past mistakes, my marriage, or the pain I’ve endured. I am defined by the courage it took to leave, the strength it takes to keep going, and the love that’s starting to fill the cracks in my heart.
As the coffee shop comes into view, a sense of purpose swells in my chest. I’ve already made it through the hardest part; I survived. Now it’s time to thrive.
Chapter 28
Austin
