Page 94 of Loving Violet
As John speaks,his words send an icy shiver racing down my spine. “I’ve been thinking,” he begins, his voice eerily calm, like he’s narrating a bedtime story. “Thinking about all the things I can do to make you see that we belong together, Violet. We’ll leave here, just the two of us, start fresh in a new town. Somewhere where no one knows us. We’ll build a life there, a perfect life. And once everything’s set up, I’ll come back for Adrian. We’ll be a family. The way it’s meant to be.”
My stomach twists, bile rising in my throat as his words sink in. I force myself to stay calm, to keep my voice steady even as my heart races. “John, listen to me. What about Miriam? Your kids? They need you. You can’t just walk away from them.”
He freezes, his eyes narrowing, and for a moment, I think I’ve gotten through to him. But then his face twists into a mask of anger, and he shouts, “No! Don’t talk about Miriam! Don’t you see? I was never meant to be with her. She’s nothing compared to you. You’re the one, Violet. You’ve always been the one.”
He starts pacing the small cabin, his movements erratic, his hands gesturing wildly as he speaks. I stay seated, barely breathing, watching him carefully, trying to anticipate his next move.
“This is all your fault,” he says, his voice dropping into a venomous growl. “If you’d just listened to me, this wouldn’t have happened. I’ve been trying to show you, every day. I came to see you every morning. I left you gifts, little ways to tell you just how much I care. But you ignored me. Over and over again, you pushed me aside like I didn’t matter.”
I swallow hard, forcing myself not to react. He’s spiraling, and I can’t risk provoking him.
John stops pacing and turns to me, his eyes wild and glassy. “Do you know how much I’ve done for you? How much I’ve sacrificed? I had plans for us, Violet. Big plans. I was going to divorce Miriam, leave everything behind, just to be with you. But you…youruinedit.” His voice rises into a shout as he grips his hair, tugging at it violently.
“John,” I say softly, trying to soothe him. “I didn’t know. I didn’t understand. Maybe if we just talk about this?—”
“No!” he snaps, cutting me off. “You don’t get it, do you? I love you, Violet. I’vealwaysloved you. And you chose him. Him! Do you know what that feels like? To be cast aside like I’m nothing?”
He’s trembling now, his breaths coming fast and shallow. I can see the cracks in his composure widening, his control slipping further away with each passing second.
I take a deep breath, forcing myself to stay calm, to sound sincere. “I didn’t mean to hurt you, John. I didn’t realize how you felt. But this isn’t the way to fix things. We can find another way. You can take me back, and we’ll figure this out together. No one has to know.”
For a moment, he looks at me, really looks at me, and I think I’ve reached him. But then he shakes his head, a bitter laugh escaping his lips. “You’re just saying that. You’re lying to me, trying to trick me. But I’m not stupid, Violet. I know you. And I know that deep down, you feel the same way about me.”
His delusion feels like a suffocating fog, wrapping itself around both of us. I can see the madness in his eyes, the desperate need for validation, for control.
I have to get out of here. Somehow, someway, I have to convince him to let me go. But the wrong word, the wrong move, might make him snap.
“John,” I say carefully, my voice trembling just enough to sound afraid—but not too afraid. “I want to understand. Help me understand. Tell me what I can do to make this right.”
His face softens slightly, and he takes a step closer, his voice dropping to a near whisper. “All you have to do is love me, Violet. That’s all I’ve ever wanted. Just say it. Say you love me.”
My heart pounds as I force myself to meet his gaze, to keep my voice steady. “I... I need time, John. This is all so sudden. I need time to process, to?—”
“Time?” he snaps, his face twisting with rage again. “You’vehadtime. Months! But you wasted it. And now I have to do what’s necessary to make you see.”
His words hang in the air, heavy and ominous. And I realize with chilling clarity that he’s capable of anything.
Before I can protest further, we hear rustling outside. Fear grips me as John swiftly grabs a roll of tape from his pocket and covers my mouth, silencing me. I struggle against him, but he's too strong. He binds my wrists using the same tape, rendering me helpless.
I struggle to try and break free, and John gets frustrated by the noise it makes. The next thing I know, floorboards are being lifted to reveal a secret entrance to a tunnel. The thought that I will be moved from this cabin scares me even more, and I almost have a panic attack with this tape over my mouth. I try to catch my breath, and tears start to form in my eyes, but I do as he says so he won’t have a reason to put his hands on me.
John lifts me from the chair, but doesn’t remove the tape from my arms or face. "If you fight me, I will come back for your son, and I will kill him," he threatens. "You'll be alone with me, chained to the wall as I fuck that whore cunt of yours. Understand?"
Terrified, I nod silently, tears now streaming down my cheeks. I don’t struggle as he pushes me toward the dark hole in the floor. With a shove, I tumble into the tunnel, hitting the cold ground hard. The lantern light flickers on, casting eerie shadows around us as John closes the floorboards above, sealing us in darkness. The tunnel is so long that there is no end in sight, and it smells like wet dirt and rat droppings.
He hauls me to my feet roughly, gripping my arm tightly. Fear and despair wash over me as I realize the depth of his delusion. There's no way out, no escape from this nightmare.
John makes me walk in the tunnel for what feels like an eternity, though in reality it's only about five minutes. The darkness and the suffocating smell makes it hard to breathe. At the end of the tunnel, there's this mysterious wooden door.
John turns to me and says, "Stay here and don't move." I nod, unable to speak with the tape over my mouth.
He opens the door and disappears, leaving me in the dark. The oppressive scent of the damp earth overwhelms me, and every passing second feels like it could be my last.
My heart breaks as I think about Adrian and Austin; I didn’t get to say goodbye to my son. The thought tears me apart, and I sob silently, wishing I could go home to them.
Thinking about Austin hurts—I never got the chance to tell him that his master plan was working. I didn’t tell him that I’m in love with him, that I love how he treats my son, and takes time to spend with him, teaching him about fishing and sports. I never told him how he makes me feel seen, beautiful, and cared for. How every time he talks, there’s a glint in his eyes that I adore. I wish I had the time to tell him how I really feel.
I sink to the ground, overwhelmed by despair.
