Page 52 of Loving Josy
I hesitated, feeling the familiar knot of doubt tighten in my chest. “Because there’s this part of me that doesn’t feel like I’m enough. Even though I know logically that Noah’s doing everything to show me I am, I can’t shake it.”
Her eyes softened, and she stepped closer. “Where’s that coming from?”
I exhaled slowly, letting the words tumble out. “It’s something I’ve been talking to my therapist about for years. It’s tied to my mom. Growing up, she wasn’t there. She had her reasons, and I know that now. But back then? It felt like she didn’t want me. My grandparents loved me fiercely, but it wasn’t the same. I had a mom, and she wasn’t there.”
Violet stayed quiet, letting me work through it.
“That kind of hurt doesn’t just disappear,” I continued. “Even now that she’s back in my life and being a great mom, that old feeling lingers. And then, when I saw Noah with that woman all those years ago, saying I was nothing... it broke something in me. Even though he’s explained a hundred times and I’ve forgiven him, it’s like that voice in my head got louder. Like it’s always waiting to tell me I’m not enough.”
Violet’s hand found mine, her grip firm. “Josy, you are enough. You’re more than enough. And anyone who’s lucky enough to love you like Noah, knows that.”
Her words hit me in the softest, most vulnerable part of my heart. I nodded, blinking back the sting in my eyes. “I’m trying, Vi. I really am.”
“I know you are. And I’m proud of you for doing the work. But you’ve got to let yourself believe it. Noah wants you, and you deserve that love.”
I gave her a watery smile. “Thanks, Vi.”
She grinned, squeezing my hand. “Now, come on. We’ve got a million things to do before Adrian’s soccer practice.”
Hours later, after a whirlwind of work and errands, I’m sitting in Violet’s car, rubbing my lower back as Adrian hops into the backseat with his soccer gear.
“Happy birthday, Aunt Josy!” he says with a grin, holding up a messy card he clearly made.
My heart squeezes as I take the card, covered in glitter and stickers, with the wordsHappy B-day Auntie!Scrawled across the front.
“Thank you, Adrian! This is beautiful,” I say, glancing at Violet with a smile.
She shoots me a sly look. “Wait till you see what else we’ve got planned.”
I laugh, shaking my head. “Dinner, right? I’m starving.”
But when we pull into Vi’s driveway, I notice the extra cars lined up outside and the faint glow of balloons through the windows.
“What’s going on?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at Violet.
She grins like the Cheshire Cat. “Oh, just a little something. Come on.”
“You know that I don’t like surprises, Vi.”
“I know. Just act surprise please.” Violet says with pleading eyes.
I sigh. “Okay. Lead the way.” Adrian and Violet walk to the entrance of their house as I follow. I love her for this and even though I am complaining and acting like I don’t want this, I really love it.
The door swings open, and I’m hit with a loud chorus of voices shouting, “Surprise!”
The living room is a kaleidoscope of balloons and decorations, with a giant banner that readsHappy Birthday, Josy!in bold letters. I stand frozen, overwhelmed by the sight of Austin by the door, and Noah standing near the cake with a grin that could light up the whole town.
I press a hand to my chest, trying to process the scene.
After everyone says hi to me and Noah tells me he wanted to celebrate my special day, I smile. He definitely made my day even better.
Esteban’s loud voice breaks through the moment to announce his mothers famous cake she apparently made just for my birthday. . “You haven’t even seen the cake yet! Mami made it special for you.”
I glance at the table where the cake sits, beautifully frosted with intricate designs. The smell of vanilla and rum wafts through the air, making my mouth water.
“She’s never had Puerto Rican cake before,” Noah says with a knowing smile. “but trust me—you’re going to love it.”
I laugh, the knot in my chest loosening as I take it all in. This is what love feels like. Not just from Noah, but from everyone around me. It’s overwhelming, but in the best way.
