Page 31 of Loving Josy
I glance down at the test.
The wordpositivestares back at me, sharp and unrelenting.
I freeze, unable to breathe, move, or think. My mind clutches at denial. This has to be wrong. It has to be.
I rip open the box and grab the second test. I don’t care about the logic of waiting or drinking water to go again. I just need to be sure.
Minutes later, I’m pacing again, clutching the second test as if squeezing it will change the outcome. I barely notice when the result appears.
Positive.
The truth crashes down, suffocating and absolute. I sink to the floor, my back pressed against the cold tiles, the test slipping from my hand.
Tears spill over, hot and uncontrollable, as the weight of it all engulfs me.
I’m pregnant. With Noah Ross’s baby.
I spend the day in a haze, my body going through the motions, handling one task after another, but my mind is a mess. I don’t know what to do. Should I tell Noah now, or wait until I see a doctor? I’m so confused. One part of me feels a flicker of happiness. I’ve always wanted to be a mom, but not like this. I wanted to fall in love, get married, and then start a family. Now everything’s upside down.
What if Noah doesn’t want me to keep the baby? What if he doubts it’s his? I don’t think he’d act like a jerk, but I don’t really know him anymore. Now, like it or not, we’ll be connected for the rest of our lives, and that thought terrifies me, and I can’t deny it also gives me a tiny thrill. I’m having the baby of the man I’ve loved for most of my life. Even if nothing else comes of it, a part of Noah will always be with me. That thought, as overwhelming as it is, brings a smile to my face while tears stream down my face.
Chapter Sixteen
Noah
Ineed to see Josy. I haven’t seen her at all this week, and it’s driving me crazy. It’s not like I haven’t been trying. I’ve been coming to the coffee shop every single day for the past six weeks, hoping to catch a glimpse of her. But she’s only been here a handful of times, and when she is, she barely speaks to me. Still, just seeing her even for a second fills me with this wild sense of happiness. It’s pathetic, really. I’m like an addict chasing my next fix, unable to stop myself from craving her.
Josy is like a siren. The kind you read about in stories who sing their deadly songs to lure you in. And even though you know it’ll kill you, you can’t help but follow the sound. That’s how I feel around her. I don’t even care if I drown. I’d gladly go under if it means being close to her. It sounds dramatic, but it’s the truth.
Every time I step into the shop, my eyes search for her like it’s a reflex, hoping today’s the day. I tell myself I’m being patient, that I can give her the space she needs, but deep down, I’m just fooling myself. I can’t stop thinking about her, and I don’t know how to turn it off. It’s not just her looks, though she’s stunning, obviously. It’s everything about her. The way she moves, the way she gets fired up over the smallest things, howshe tries to act tough but has this softness beneath it all. She’s got me hooked, and I don’t even want to find a way out.
I’ve been keeping myself busy every day, throwing myself into work, and when I’m done, I kill myself at the gym. Anything to stop me from driving over to Josy’s house and begging her for just a few minutes of her time. But this strategy is not working. The urge to talk to her is too strong to ignore.
I glance around the property I’m remodeling, trying to focus. The guys are busy tearing down a wall while I clean up the debris. It’s almost time for lunch, and like clockwork, my thoughts drift to Josy. I haven’t seen her in days, and the need to catch a glimpse of her is eating me alive. She’s become this mystery, never at the shop when I’m there. So today, I’ve got to know if she’s around.
Pulling off my gloves, I grab my phone from my pocket and type a quick text to Austin. If anyone can help me out, it’s him.
Me: Hey man, can you do me a favor?
It takes only a few seconds before I see the dots bouncing, signaling his reply.
Austin: Sure.
Me: Can you check with Violet if Josy’s at the shop today?
A minute passes, and I feel my stomach tighten, anxious for his response. Then, it comes through.
Austin: I don’t even need to text Violet. I’m at the shop grabbing coffee right now, and I’m looking at Josy. She’s here, but she looks like she’s not feeling well.
I freeze. Not feeling well? My mind races, and a wave of worry settles over me.
Me: Is she sick?
Austin: I don’t know. She just arrived from the other coffee shop. Haven’t had a chance to ask her yet.
Me: It’s okay. Thanks for letting me know. I’m heading that way now.
Austin: Good. Come talk to your woman.
