Page 111 of Commitment Issues
“You reckon?”
“Don’t deny it. Although, I suppose James had a hand in it too.”
He wanders in and sits down on the edge of my bed, and I join him.
I’ve barely seen him since Elliot and I came back from my parents. Not because I’ve spent most of my time with Elliot — I can’t deny that — but because Cosmo’s been away. He arrived back from New York yesterday morning, so brain-dead he could do little more than grunt, before he staggered off to bed.
“Everything’s all right? All settled?”
He doesn’t have to say anything more, because we both know what he’s talking about.
“Yes, more than settled. Looking back, it’s hard to believe the story we both told ourselves. That we were just friends, that it was casual between us. Elliot’s never been that to me.” Cosmo’s staring at me, amusement in his cat-like eyes, one brow arched. My face is throbbing with heat because he’s seeing through me, the way he always does.
“I told you from the start that was all a load of bullshit. You’re boringly traditional in your outlook. You and Elliot are clearly made for each other.”
He’s having a gentle dig, but I ignore it because he’s right.
“Yes, I think we are. But it was a close call. Gavin, and what he—”
“Nasty little fucker. Forget all about him. He’s history, but he already knew that when he cornered you in Waterstones. Who knew bookshops could be such dangerous places?” Cosmo grins, and I snort out a laugh.
But he’s right — not about the dangers of hanging around in bookshops — but about Gavin being history. All his vicious, lying words, they’re dust blown away on the wind. They’re nothing, like Gavin himself.
Cosmo waves his hand at the bomb site that’s my bedroom.
“You know you can leave your stuff here for as long as you want? I haven’t got any plans to get another housemate in.”
Cosmo’s words are matter of fact, but they make my eyes prickle and my vision blur. When I return from Oslo, this isn’t the house I’ll be coming back to. I’ve lived with my best friend since I was eighteen, and he’s central to my world. I love him with all my heart.
He rolls his eyes, as though he knows what I’m thinking, and drags me in close to him.
“You’re a twat, you know that, don’t you?” he says. He’s laughing but there’s a gruff edge to his voice. I’m leaving this house, and he feels it too, but I’m not leaving him.
“You always had a way with words.”
“It’s all part of my charm.”
His phone bleeps, and I shift out from under his arm as he pulls his mobile from his pocket.
“Talking of charm,” he says, as he reads the text and punches in a reply. “A very tasty flight attendant, from the trip home. They just can’t resist me. Better not keep him waiting. I wonder if he’ll wear the uniform?”
“Oh, God. Please, I don’t want to know.”
Cosmo laughs. “See? I’m so right about you. Boringly suburban. Anyway, I’ll see you tomorrow night. We’re getting trashed, remember? No reason to run off to the arsehole end of East Anglia this time.”
I give him the two fingered salute.
Yes, I remember. There’s no way I can get out of it, but that’s all right, because I don’t want to.
Minutes later, Cosmo’s gone, leaving me alone in the silent house. I’ve had enough for now, the rest can wait until tomorrow. I’ve got somewhere else to be.
“Hi, it’s me,” I say, when Elliot picks up my call. “I’m leaving now. Be home soon.”
Home, with Elliot. The two of us together, just the way it’s meant to be.
