Page 79 of Commitment Issues
Elliot will meet a man like him, somebody urbane and cultured and sophisticated, somebody with corporate running through him like the words in a stick of rock. That’s the kind of man he should be with, not somebody like me. I’m too far removed from his world to be anything other than a passer through. I’m the breathing space he talked about.
Or a sticking plaster.
That’s what I am, a sticking plaster, just something to cover the wound while it knits and mends, until he’s strong again after the catastrophe of Gavin. And I know it, I knew it when I agreed to our arrangement, because aren’t I getting something from it too?
My hand slips from his brow, only to be caught at the wrist in his strong grip.
“No don’t stop. It feels good.”
He shifts and looks up at me, his gaze warm.
“Will you stay the night? Just to sleep?” A rueful smile tugs his lips.
We make our way up to bed. It’s still early but I’m happy to climb under the duvet, lay close to Elliot and feel the heat from his skin, and to hear his heavy, steady breathing as he falls into a deep and much needed sleep.
I’m happy to just be with him as I wish for more that I know will never come.
