Page 86 of Commitment Issues
Chapter Thirty-Five
Freddie
I don’t want to wake up. I’m warm and snug and it’s how I want to stay. The bed shifts slightly and I roll over and wrap my arms around the warm body that’s strong, muscular and hard. And very, very furry. I open my eyes and see a pair of brown ones looking at me.
“Jasper. You’re a bad boy, you know you shouldn’t be here.”
A long pink tongue whips out and licks my nose.
“Urggh! Early morning dog breath. Literally dog breath. Go away, you mad hound.” But I don’t push him away, instead I nuzzle into his neck, and his little sturdy body wriggles and rewards me with one of his trademark raspy little woofs.
“What would your daddy say? He wouldn’t like you being in the bed, you know.” And I wonder what Elliot would think if he heard me referring to him as Daddy… Daddy, with a capital D. I snigger, as I push myself out of bed and Jasper scrambles after me, lifting up one stiff little leg and nuzzling around where once there would have been a little pink pair of balls. But they’re long gone. “I’d ask if you want any breakfast but it looks like you’ve found something far more tasty to munch on.” Jasper doesn’t respond and I leave him to it, as I head off to the shower.
It’s been almost a month since Cosmo cornered me about Elliot. Neither of us have referred to it since, and I’m relieved. I’ve made sure I’ve spent more time at home, although where home is now, I’m not so sure. But Cosmo’s away again, and as soon as he left for the airport I was locking up, and taking the Northern Line to Hampstead.
Less than half an hour later I’m showered, shaved, and dressed. I also strip and remake the bed with fresh linens, ready for when Elliot gets home later. My balls tingle and my cock pulses as I think about our reunion. It’s Friday and he’s been gone for five days, back to Oslo to try and put his deal to bed. My cock presses against my jeans, as I think about him puttingmeto bed.
Downstairs, Jasper’s in the kitchen, waiting patiently by his bowl
“Come on boy, in the garden first and then you can have your breakfast.”
Opening up the door leading into the garden, I let in the warm morning sunshine, and watch as Jasper makes his stiff legged way down to the bottom and out of sight behind some bushes. As I wait for him to amble his way back, I put the kettle on for a cup of tea, as I think about the day ahead.
It’s going to be busy. I have to finish up a paper I’m submitting to a journal, and then after that plenty of reading. Or that’s the plan. It’s only just gone eight o’clock, but I’m already feeling antsy and I know my concentration’s pretty much shot.
I know what time he’s due back, and I wonder if I’ve got everything I need to cook a really nice dinner for him. Elliot can tell me about his week, and I can tell him about mine, before we get naked and screw ourselves stupid. Maybe screw ourselves stupid before we catch up. Or maybe screw ourselves stupid before and after, and maybe even during. My hand drifts down to my cock, a hard bulge in the front of my jeans.
“Fucking hell,” I breathe, as I squeeze and rub. I catch the zip between thumb and forefinger, ready to tug it down and release my throbbing dick when a high pitched, strangled bark cuts through the haze. Jasper, re-emerged from the garden, by his bowl doing some funny little shuffling dance, and yelping at me.
“Bloody furry cock blocker,” I say to the dog, but without any malice or conviction.
I set about sorting out Jasper’s breakfast, but my mind’s firmly on Elliot. I’ve missed him, not just the sex. I’ve missedhim. The thought warms something deep inside of me I can’t let myself examine too closely.
I’ve not heard much from him in the last five days. He told me that when he’s working, he puts all his energy and concentration into doing just that. He’s sent me a couple of text messages, and there’s been a very brief phone call which was cut short because he had to get back to a meeting. I’d have loved to have talked to him via FaceTime or Skype or something like that, but he didn’t suggest it, so I didn’t either. He’s been busy, and I understand that. I’m much like that myself, when I’m involved in something and really focused. Everything else is just a distraction. And I get that, I really, really do.
With Jasper happily gnawing on his chew toy, I put my earphones on and let the soft background music lull me into work, as I try not to think about how excited I am that Elliot’s coming home tonight and that I’ll be here to welcome him back.
* * *
I keep looking out the window like a suburban curtain twitcher. I know from his flight details what time he landed so he shouldn’t be too long. My ears are attuned to every sound on the street outside and when I hear the cab pull up, I race to the door and fling it open, smiling so hard I’m in danger of rupturing every single one of my face muscles. Elliot makes his way up the steps towards the front door and I scramble down, ready to take some of his luggage, but he says it’s fine and keeps hold of it himself. We close the door, shutting the world out, and I fling myself into his arms.
“Quite the homecoming,” he says.
I go to kiss him, I want to do a whole lot more than kiss him, but he steps back out of my arms. My body flinches. I’ve been too much, too gushy, and for a moment I feel stupid. But then I look at him, which is what I should have done before I’d leapt on him with only one thought on my mind, and I understand.
Elliot doesn’t just look tired, he looks exhausted, drained and wrung out, and I wonder how much of a bitch the past few days have been to him.
“How was it?” I ask, hoping he’ll tell me, but he doesn’t like to discuss his work in any detail, when we’re together. He’s not secretive about it, he just likes to keep the professional and the private separate as much as he can.
“It was difficult, but in the end it was worth it. There was a lot to be hashed out, but both parties got what they wanted, I think.” He smiles at me but it’s kind of vague and distant. “Something smells good,” he says, his smile brightening, but somehow I still don’t think he’s really here with me.
“I hope you’re hungry? I’ve made a—”
“Jasper! Come give me a cuddle. I’ve missed you, you mad hound.”
I watch as Elliot scoops the dog up in his arms and nuzzles around his neck. Elliot cuddling Jasper, Elliot missing Jasper, Elliot peppering Jasper’s head with kisses. I turn away and head for the kitchen because I don’t want him to see my smile crack and crumble to the floor.
“Have you been all right here?” He says, following me, still holding Jasper tight in his arms. “Hope this one hasn’t been too much trouble.” Elliot looks at me over Jasper’s head almost as if he’s noticing me properly for the first time.
