Page 42 of Take My Breath Away
I peer at Elliot. My friend’s looking shifty when he never looks shifty.
“But don’t be surprised if he tries to pee in the corner. It’s because this is a new environment for him, but just give him lots of attention and lay out all his familiar things and he’ll be fine.”
I groan. Soggy puddles on the carpet stinking of dog wee. Is my friendship with Elliot really worth this?
“It’s only until Sunday, and we’ll pick him up straight from the airport. And anyway I’m sure Perry will be doing most of the looking after, especially as I’ve given him the day off to help get Jasper settled. Jasper knows Perry, he’s very easy with him. Now, we really do have to go.”
Elliot gives Jasper a big cuddle, rubbing his cheek over the dog’s head, and is rewarded with a whine and a strangled yelp.
“Now you be a good boy, Jas. I don’t want you to be too much trouble but if James is horrible to you, you have my permission to piss anywhere you want.” With a grin that’s got a touch of evil in it, Elliot thrusts Jasper into my arms.
The dog’s small but stocky and surprisingly heavy as he wriggles in my arms. I meet his eye. The next few days are going to be war and to be honest I’m not sure who’s going to come out the victor.
“I’ll ring you when we get back just to let you know what time we’ll pick him up. Must go.” He swings around on his heel and rushes to the car, making his escape.
I don’t know how, not yet, but Elliot’s going to pay a heavy price for this.
I hold Jasper out at arm’s length. “Do not give me a hard time, mutt. If you even attempt to cock your leg in this house, you’re toast. Got that?”
Jasper doesn’t shift his evil little eyes from mine but he tells me exactly what he thinks of my threat.
“Oh, fucking hell.” I shift my head and try to veer back from the noxious stink that fills the air around me. I’ve forgotten, and Elliot has handily not reminded me, how much this dog farts.
“He’s here!” Perry cries, as he walks up the garden path towards me. He’s carrying a bag filled with a few bits of shopping but he immediately dumps it and takes Jasper from my arms, thank God.
“Hello Jasper, it’s so lovely to see you again. Have you got a kiss for Perry?” Jasper wriggles in Perry’s arms with what I swear is excitement, as his stubby tail wags from side to side. A strangled sound, which can barely be called a bark, pushes its way out of Jasper before a long, pink tongue emerges and catches the tip of Perry’s nose.
“Errrgh, how can you let him do that?” My stomach’s still rolling from the foul fart Perry doesn’t seem to have noticed.
“Jasper’s such a lovely little thing, he’s so sweet and loving,” Perry says, as he cuddles the dog close. He’s got a big smile on his face and he looks thrilled with Jasper, and my antipathy towards the dog melts. Just a little.
“Come on, boy, let’s get you settled. We can set all his things up in the corner of the kitchen if you like?” Perry throws over his shoulder as he strides into the house leaving me to pick up the shopping and the bag of Jasper’s belongings Elliot’s left.
“The kitchen? You must be joking.” Jasper smells. He just does. He’s a living, breathing stench bomb, and there’s no way I want that floating around in the kitchen. “I thought he could go into the utility room.” Or the shed, at the bottom of the garden, but from the way Perry’s glaring at me perhaps it’s best if I don’t put forward those particular suggestions.
“You can’t do that.” Perry’s eyes are huge with shock. “He’ll think he’s done something wrong. It’d be like banishing him.”
Perry’s still glaring at me, but so too is Jasper, and I’m sure there’s a glint of evil in his round, button eyes. I’ve lost this round and the dog knows it. But I’m not giving up.
“He stinks, and he’s very farty. I don’t think it’s too much for me not to want that poisoning the kitchen.”
“He just gets nervous so if he picks up that you don’t like him very much,” Perry says, his scowl deepening, “that’ll just make him fart all the more. Try and be relaxed around him, be nice. He’s a lovely little thing and he’ll be no trouble, and besides I’m happy to do the work. I’ve looked after him before, you know. But for now maybe Jasper would like to get to know the garden. You’d like that wouldn’t you, you little cutie?”
I follow Perry through the doors that lead onto the patio, and the garden beyond. Jasper’s leaning his snout on Perry’s shoulder and I swear to God that dog’s giving me a malevolent grin.
The garden’s completely secure but Perry attaches his leash and tethers it to the branch of a large tree halfway down. It’s one of those extendable things and Jasper spends his time sniffing and rooting around and cocking his leg. No doubt there’ll be brown patches and dead areas but at least the dog’s out the house and I pretend the smell is fading.
* * *
Summer’s slipped into autumn, and it’s come in with a vengeance with plunging temperatures and blustery storms. The kitchen, though, is warm and cosy, but it’d be a hell of a lot more cosy if Perry were sitting with me at the table, instead of on his knees in the corner, where he’s telling Jasper he’s such a good boy as he tickles the dog’s belly. On his back with his legs spread wide, Jasper’s such a little tart.
Perry’s thrilled to have Jasper here, and that in itself is enough for the dog to earn his keep.
“And another tickle, and another,” Perry says in a sing-song voice as he scrubs his fingers through the short hair on Jasper’s pink stomach.
I have, I know, been completely forgotten, but I don’t mind as it gives me the uninterrupted opportunity to drink in every inch of Perry. He’s smiling, relaxed and happy, and I’m glad of that.
We haven’t talked much about the evening we spent with Rory and Jack, and the shift in his idea to set up a home-based business. It’s happening, I know full well he’s been busy looking at places. I’ve advised him not to rush into anything, to wait until the New Year when properties flood the market, to take his time to find the right place and not let enthusiasm get in the way of clear sightedness. Not that I think anywhere will be the right place, not in bloody Brighton.
